


Going Home!

by ramblesandshambles



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: #Caryl, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-05 10:17:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 36,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4176087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramblesandshambles/pseuds/ramblesandshambles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Infidelity, heartbreak, broken marriage, sometimes you have to take a long bumpy ride home.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Infidelity, heartbreak, broken marriage, sometimes you have to take a long bumpy ride home.

Author note: Infidelity, heartbreak, broken marriage, sometimes you have to take a long bumpy ride till you can get home. 

 

I realize this might not be a fic for many, but its writing itself at the moment. 

*************************************************************************************************************

 

She looked out the window of her small bedsit on the third floor, his car was parked out there, she was scared. She didn't know what else to do her ex boss now had followed her to her new place, and she wasn't able to find work because of his standing in town had bad mouthed her to all future employees. She had limited money and she didn't know what else to do. He wouldn't take no for an answer and now no one would give her a job, he was stalking her now and was just waiting for he to give up knowing she would have to feed her child. He told her she was going to be evicted because the landlord was on his payroll.

She'd arrived home from looking for a job with her son in tow with the landlord telling her she had to go. He was a old man and offered her a few nights after tomorrow sleeping on the couch in his small apartment as long as she told no one she was staying there. She didn't want the old man to get into more trouble and she told him she would move on tomorrow. She had moved 4 times in three months. This was the worst part of town. She was losing money, feeding him and paying for her room.

She tried not to be upset but it was blackmail pure and simple his way of getting what he wanted. She'd told him she was a widow, he took that as she would sleep with him when she turned him down he got annoyed with her. No one said no to him, she knew that, she'd worked as his P.A for a while before he tried to get her into bed. She shook her head, she left at 5 to pick her child up from the sitter when she returned the next day she had been demoted to the mail room. To a a point she was forced to finally leave. 

She looked out the window again and the knocking on the door taunting her was too much, she tried to shush her son. She picked him up and they crawled out onto the fire escape and along to the girl next door, she tapped on the window and she opened it quickly, helping her in. Tara had been helping look after the little boy since she had him. Helping her find place after place to stay finally they both were sharing a house and come home a few weeks ago to find themselves evicted and their stuff on the street. What was left of their stuff they grabbed and found two single rooms side by side in a bedsit place run by a friendly old man.

'Can you believe that guy?' Tara said. Carol felt bad, she had a few months of college left and she was being dragged into this by Carol. Tara said they needed to stick together until they formed a plan. Tara had a plan, she'd done some digging, borrowed money off her girlfriend and worked everything out, all she had to do was get Carol to agree to the plan. She didn't know if she could go for it but the rumor was Child Protective Services were coming tomorrow to take her son.

'Yeah, no one will hire me, I'm running out of money and idea's,' Carol told her, 'I don't know what to do now,'

'Why don't you go home to your husband? or ex husband? or whatever he is?' 

'I can't............... he cheated, he checked out..................... I can't trust him anymore,' Carol said. She had thought about it. She just couldn't do it, bring herself to do it.

'He might help, you don't have to go back but, he might help out with money and stuff, things are going bad now, when you run out of money the state will take him or something, I can't afford to hardly feed myself, I'll help I have a little stashed away,' Tara told her, 'Swallow your pride? He has got to pay maintenance right or something?'

'I think I will have to swallow a whole lot of vomit, I can still see him you know............. if I think about him, having sex with her,' Carol whispered.

'I'm not saying you have to go back to him, but surely he will pay maintenance, is he a decent man? I mean apart from fucking the waitress?'

'He used to be............. he was............ before................ maybe I'll ring his brother?'

'I think we need to get you out of town, head there, at least if you go to your own home town you might be able to get a job, you must still have friends there?' Tara suggested, 'I've been your best friend since he was born, I'm helping the best I can, but even I can see now you can't do this alone anymore not with that stalker out there wanting you, its not safe, you need to put your pride aside and keep him safe,'

'I don't know,'

'Look I wasn't going to say this but I need to now, Old Mr Jones has a friend and he said he heard he was going to send social services in to take him, I don't know if that's just a threat or not but ................ Carol you have to go,' Tara opened her laptop, she flicked through some files, and printed out some stuff, 'I went on line, I worked it out you can be there in ten days, I know you don't have a lot of money for motels, but if you take night buses it will save money on motels and things, eat cheap,'

 A whole lot of emotions flooded through her at that moment. Every time she thought of him it was the same thing that run through her mind. She couldn't cope home alone, she slowly had been packing away things and he lost it completely and went out binge drinking when he saw her packing her stuff into little pink boxes, when he got home he vomiting over the house on his return and on her baby blanket. She had to wash it and it no longer smelt like her. Thats when she decided to take time out. She needed to catch her breath they were barely alive themselves, just functioning.

They had lost their baby, their little Sophia, she hadn't slept through the night by their bed she had just stayed sleeping and neither of them knew how to deal with the grief. Sitting night after night staring at the little urn of her baby ashes on the special shelf with her baby photo. They didn't know how to talk to each other. Carol couldn't stop crying and Daryl wouldn't talk to anyone. They used to make love a few times a week they tried again but just felt disconnected with each other both feeling blame where there was none.

'Some friends maybe still.................. lots fell away while we were dealing with the grief, and when the marriage fell apart people took sides,'  she never told anyone but Tara she caught him with the waitress having sex in their bed, she didn't even know if he remembered himself he was so drunk and he passed out and the women scurried past her holding her clothes when she saw Carol starring at them. They thought she just left, she'd been checked out for so long she been away for a few weeks staying with friends trying to get on top of things, he took care of things by going to bars and drinking himself into a stupor every night. She grabbed what she could grab to pack into a bag, a few photos of her baby, the baby blanket, the money from their checking account that he had been spending on booze and fled that night leaving a note to tell him she was leaving him. She never looked back.

She was nearly 6 months pregnant before her new friend Tara convinced her she was pregnant and she should go see a midwife. She'd been denying it for a as long as she knew. She made a vow to herself that she wouldn't get attracted to the baby growing inside of her but she couldn't help it, it was coming whether she loved it or not. When he was born she fell head over heels with the little boy. Oliver, who stole her heart, helped her heal, that was good until 3 months ago when things started going badly. Now she had no choice but to make some sort of drastic move. Going back would let Daryl know he had a son, but could she go back.

He'd been knocking at her door for over an hour and hadn't moved on or left. Ollie had fallen asleep on Tara's bed.

'If you catch the midnight Greyhound, you will be 8 hours away by morning, on your way, I even got you a throw away phone so you can keep me in contact,' Tara told her.

Tara had a file with bus schedules and how to make it back to where she needed to go, if social services tried to catch up with her, she would stand a better chance with him. He owned his own business still along with his brother. They would help her, they wouldn't turn him away. She nodded agreeing she would follow the plan. Tara had it all organised, they had newly washed clothes. A backpack she could strap Ollie to when he got tied and a back back she could strap to her front to make a trip across the country. 

Tara counted out the money she had, pooled with the money Carol had she had enough. Tara also had planned a few over night stops with family friends of hers. By the time midnight come she had bags packed and enough water, food and snacks for them both to last a couple of days. Tara had come up with free suggestions for what they could do during the day at the different stops they would be making. Giving her a map. All the money and things she could give her. They hugged goodbye, Carol Carried her sleeping child onto the bus with her bag with some snacks and a drink in case he did wake. 8 hours time, 8 hours on a bus. The only thing she knew she would have trouble with would be holding him for so long. They had two tickets so they had a whole seat to themselves. Tara had booked and paid for this part of the trip she just needed to go and go fast.

Tara walked out to her car and pulled up along side a pay phone booth, she pulled out a phone number wondering if she should just dial or not. She was betraying Carol's trust but she really didn't want her friend going on the bus for the next week or so with little Ollie in tow.

A gruff voice answered the phone, she looked at her watch seeing the time, it would be roughly knock off time in the state he was in.

'Can I speak with Daryl Dixon please?' Tara asked over the phone.

'Speaking,'

Tara launched into a 'You don't know me speech but.....................' when Tara drew breath she waited for a moment for him to responded.

'I'm just getting a pen,' She could hear him scratching on a bit of paper, 'Ok, Ok, Thankyou, you have no idea................. I'ma gonna go find her,' 

'Oh Daryl, if you go, you're going to need a car seat,'

'A car seat?'

'For Ollie..................... he's 4,' Tara breathed into the phone, she heard the phone crash to the ground then it banged a few times as the person at the other end tried to pick it up.

'Is he.................... is he mine?'

'She told me he was, but she needs your help even if she won't admit it,' Tara said into the phone, ' This is my cell number, give me a text so I have yours, I'll text you her number,'

Tara rattled off a number and said goodbye. Carol would kill her but whats a girl going to do. They would work it out. She didn't know him but the way Carol talked about him she knew he would look after her. Regardless what had happened.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wow my IN BOX was full this morning, thanks for commenting on this fic

They slept all night together in the bus and when it come to a stop she climbed off with Ollie on her hip and pulled her bags with her to a point where she could get her back pack on and her front pack to take him to the bathroom. She headed into a parenting stall to help him go to the toilet. She held him close so he wouldn't unlock the doors on the cubical. She'd hung her bag's on the hooks provided so no one would take them.

She stripped him a little to wash him up a little. He stood in the sink as she washed him down a little, she'd put him in a pull up over night on the bus so they wouldn't get cut short. She was going to keep doing that but she wanted to wash him down so he was feeling better and fresher about it all. She patted him down with paper towels and looked in the backpack to find him clean underwear. She found a pair of jean's for him and put his shoes and socks back on. She washed his face and gave him a kiss.

He was pretty crusey and didn't seem to be bothered to be woken at 7am looking around finding himself on a bus. She'd given him a sandwich made by Aunty Tara, and a juice box. He'd sat and watched out the window while she ate and had a drink. She had slept most of the way, only waking when he woke. She knew he wouldn't cry at all about anything. He wasn't a crier but more happy with the few toys she had put in the bag she brought in the carry on bag. He'd spent the rest of the time driving the toy car up and down the window. 

He stood there staring at her as she did his shoes. He put his hands in her hair doing what he liked to do to calm him, the noise from the loud speaker, she didn't stop him he was being really really good. She brushed his teeth and her and finally using baby wipes to wipe under her arms and use deodorant. She threw some tinted moisturizer on, lip gloss and a hint of mascara, she was done. Straightening her clothes and moved Ollie around to put him into the back pack. She wasn't putting him down in the busy bus terminal. She lifted it up onto her back. She buckled the ties around her waist and across her chests. 

'Lets go baby,' Carol told him, 'You're being so good, you want to go to the park?'

'Yeah, my car,' Ollie told her, pointing to the car on the sink, she picked up her other back pack, putting it on her front. Passing him the car, she picked up the other carry bag and left the bathroom looking at the map to see where she needed to go to buy a ticket for the night's bus trip. 'Mum are we going to go on another bus?'

'Tonight, we going to do some fun things today,' Carol told him, fun free things she thought they needed to fill in the whole day she stood staring at the board of buses coming and down at the detailed list Tara had given her. She was pleased Tara was so set up the detailed list she knew she wouldn't have to worry about where to go next. She bounced a little to keep Ollie entertained while she looked at the board, she knew what she needed to ask for and she turned to go buy her ticket. Slamming into a hard body, 'Oh I'm so sorry,'

'Don't be I've been running all around the terminal looking for you,' 

She brought her eyes up and shut them fast. He was there, looking for her. She was so going to kill Tara with her own bare hands. He looked exhausted. Older, much older, graying facial hair, in need of a hair cut. It was clear to her in that moment Tara had rung him the moment she got on the bus. She had no doubt he drove all night to get to her, she saw his hand stretch out to touch Ollie who was just staring at him from her back and around the bus terminal. His touch was brief and he quickly pulled his hand away like he got burnt. He couldn't believe how much he looked like ................... looked like her. His eyes were watering.

'I think I have something in my eyes,' he said wiping at them, he reached out for the backpack on her chest. 'Let me carry that, I've got a car, I borrowed Merle's, I got a seat, but I need to sleep,'

She could barely speak but she nodded to him and started to follow him out of the terminal, she had no idea where he parked but he was here. No one was going to take Ollie, Daryl would help her, she knew that now he was here, he didn't say anything but she could tell by the way he walked that they were going to be safe with him. Ollie watched Daryl and called out.

' _DUDE!'_ Ollie made them both stop Daryl looked at the boy strapped to her back, he was holding out his fist. Daryl didn't know what he wanted eventually he worked out he wanted to bang his fist with his, he reached out and bumped it with his,  _'Boom! Boom chicky wow wow!'_ _  
_

'I'm so sorry, he's been hanging out with Tara, you're lucky it wasn't lots of swear words,' Carol said quietly. She tilted her head to give Ollie a warning look, he just giggled, he liked being strapped to her back, it gave him a chance to play with her hair and use it as a way to keep himself calm. 

Daryl walked sideways looking at her and Ollie not really knowing what to say. He drove all night after he rode his bike to Merle's and banged on his door begging for his car and a car seat. Merle come out wrapped in a bed sheet wondering why the fuck Daryl was waking his kids up, they were trying to get them to bed for the night he could hear a baby crying in the house.  Daryl physically winced at the sound of the baby crying and closed his eyes backing out of the kitchen as he heard the sounds of the cries coming closer. He avoided Merles kids like they were the plague. He never looked at the photos of his new baby daughter he just couldn't, he fronted up to the first birthday of his oldest boy but since the birth of his daughter he hadn't been to his house. He come to the door, he did bring them gifts but he never stepped over the threshold or attempt to hold any of Merles kids. 

'The fuck you doing here?' Merle was confused, Daryl never come over in fact he made such a big thing of not coming over by texting Merle to say meet him outside he was confused why his brother would be banging on his door and walking into the kitchen.

'She's coming back home and she's got a kid, I need a car and car seat,' Daryl blurted, he got rid of their car a long time ago, rode his bike everywhere, he knew he needed a car and the work truck wouldn't be safe with a kid in tow. He didn't really even know if it was his kid at that stage and he really didn't care. Merle unbuckled the infant car seat from his car, and one of the bolted seats leaving him with one bolted car seat in the middle of the back seat. He showed him how to work the straps and told him not to drive reckless, Merle's wife come to the door holding a small pink bundle in her arms. She gave Daryl a half wave, Daryl gave her a nod as he threw his back pack into the trunk and backed out down the drive.

Carol and Ollie followed him down to the car park, he unlocked the trunk and tossed the bag inside. There was a small bag in their that was his. She unbuckled the back pack with Ollie in it. He watched as she fiddled with the straps to try unlock him from the back pack. Ollie was getting excited and Carol put her hands on his shoulders to calm him and stop him from bolting.

'Can I ........... I mean do you...........'

'I got it,' She put it on the ground and it stood on its own with feet, he was probably too big for it but she never used a stroller. It worked for what she needed it for. She never used a cot or bassinet, he'd slept with her since she brought him home. She barely slept herself for the first 6 months before Tara promised she would stare at him the whole time she slept. She unbuckled him and lifted him to her hip. 'You have a car seat?'

'Yeah.............. its Merle's car, he said you might have to fiddle with the straps or something,' Daryl watched as she buckled him into the seat, she looked up at him, he shoved her pack into the trunk as well.

'So should we get a room or something? You need to sleep right?' Carol asked him, he rubbed his hands over his face and yawned.

'I'm going to ............... right after I ring Merle and we get something to eat,' Daryl walked around opening the door to let her in, he walked around to his side and buckled up, he glanced into the rear view mirror at Ollie, 'He's mine?'

'Of course he's yours,' Carol told him.

'Ok, I don't' care if he's not but I just wanted to check,' 

Daryl drove to a motel that had a dinner across the road he booked a room after checking with her that one room would be ok, she nodded it would be fine, they would be ok sharing as long as there was a couple of beds in there. He took them across to the dinner to eat. There was a little play area where Carol let Ollie play, Daryl watched him seemingly in shock he had a son.

'Can I ask............' Daryl started, She looked up from her coffee they both knew it was coming, she nodded so he would ask, 'Why did you leave me?'

'You were drinking every day, all day, You vomited over the baby blanket, over the house, which is why I left to go stay with Maggie and when I come home you were having sex with someone in our bed, I watched her leave packed and left,'

'I what?'

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok here's another little one for you, hope you like it. or not, let me know. Comments so far have blown me away.

Carol's eyes filled with tears as she tried to blink away the image that haunted her for years, and she just nodded. She hated him for it, looking at him now she kinda felt like she wanted to rip his head off for making her feel even worse than she did right in that moment. She took a deep breath and kept looking away from him hoping her anger would subside. She watched Ollie rolling around playing with some car's he found in the small play area. She didn't bring herself to look at him, she knew he was looking at her. She just couldn't lift her eyes up off her son to look in his direction.

'Carol?'

'Yeah?'

'I slept with someone? I................. I'm so sorry,' Daryl looked generally confused, 'I don't really remember.................. I just remember wanting it all to end,'

Carol fiddled with her drink watching Ollie and finally looking at Daryl, he looked like he was going to cry, she wanted to cry and he looked tired. 'What do you remember then?'

'I remember you crying ................ a lot................. drinking a lot............... I remember vomiting on her blanket, then you leaving, I went on a bender for days or it might have been weeks, I just needed to forget,' Daryl said slowly, 'Then you never come back, Merle putting me in the shower one day, I was naked and he was slapping me a lot, he said you left me........................ he wouldn't let me drink,'

'Merle was there,' Carol said quietly, 'He picked me up from the bus to take me home, he saw you, I saw you,'

Daryl shut his eyes and couldn't remember, he'd been living in a drunken haze. Merle gone crazy, he slapped him hard across his face in anger he remembered that and yelling at him, he forced him to shower, told him he just threw his marriage away it made no sense to Daryl. He'd dressed him and made him come into their work, he didn't let him work but made him go all the same, didn't let him sleep and when he did he climbed into bed beside him. His brother pushed him to face the stages of grief that he was hiding from at a bottle of Jack before he drunk himself into a coma. He slowly come out of a haze looking around his house. No Sophia and no Carol.

He'd slowly put away the baby clothes and the baby stuff in the boxes. It had taken him months of stepping around all the items that Merle told him he had to face it and put it all away, he found the little love notes Carol had written to Sophia after she died, of her feelings and how much she loved and missed her, how her heart was broken. Spent nights finishing the scrap book Carol had started. He didn't know what the hell he was doing. He had to be doing something with his hands. He'd gone into the nursery she'd never slept in and cried for hours rocking on the floor with grief. Both for the baby they had lost and for the wife that he didn't know where she was or what had happened.

He'd shut down, was unemotional except for when he was home. He'd painted over the pink walls he'd painted when they found out they were having a girl with a netural colour so the room didn't mock him so badly every time he looked in. It had taken him months because he could only paint a little at a time, before it become overwhelming. He moved the baby bassinet out of their room, they hadn't dared to remake it from after that morning they found her still sleeping. He'd just pushed it into the nursery. He still looked at it, fingered the blankets on the tiny bed.

He'd called every one of their friends looking for her. Hired someone to look for her, Carol was no where to be found and now he had her sitting across from him telling him she come back but left because she caught him in bed with someone else. Merle had seen it all. He shut his eyes and couldn't remember. He remembered it all in a flood of memories, till a point that he didn't want to feel any more. He couldn't take coming home staring at the little shelf and everyone saying how sorry they were. He couldn't fix it or make Carol feel better. He remembered he sobbing with pain in her breasts and having to take pills to stop making milk, she cried and cried with pain trying to get some relief from it all. They tried grabbing at each other making love but it didn't help the heart ache then he went on more than a bender, he went missing for days drinking. Weeks of drinking nearly sent Carol over, he was missing in action and then ....................... _and then he did that to her_.........................he couldn't believe he would do that to her.

'I don't remember a lot after her funeral,' Daryl said quietly, 'I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say, you didn't deserve that,' he looked ashamed and couldnt' bring himself to look at her, he focused in on Ollie, he needed to talk to Merle, find out why Merle never told him. Why he didn't stop Carol from leaving. He watched the little boy rolling about playing with toys, it hurt to look at him and it hurt to look at Carol seeing that look on her face trying to talk.

'Look I only come back because of Ollie, how much did Tara tell you? I don't want to get into everything else, I just need to put it over there,' Carol told him, 'I can't I just can't feel that way again, so you going to help me or not?' Carol knew she was being hard with him. She didn't care, she needed to know if he would help her or not. She needed to cut herself off from any feelings she used to feel about him. They all pretty much died that day. She left and was in a daze for a few days staying at a hotel, sleeping and crying into her baby blanket before catching a bus out of town.

'I'm here aren't I? I got the house still, I paid it off you can come to the house,' 

'I'm not moving in with a drunk!'

'I haven't drunk a drop since you left, that's not a problem,'

'And you don't tell him who you are until I decide if I want him to know,' Carol told him, 'And no strange women around him, no one around him except me,'

'I haven't been with anyone, I work I go home, I play pool with Merle and Glenn sometimes that's it,' Daryl told her, 'I'm single been that way since you left,'

'I mean it, he's my everything,' Carol held her hands out for the little boy to come back finish his food, he looked at Daryl and tried to study him. He was watching for anything that reminded him of Sophia, there was too much that he looked like Carol but he looked a bit what he'd imagined Sophia to look like. He felt sick to his stomach that he slept with someone else. He didn't even know who the hell he could of slept with they lived in a small community everyone knew they just lost their baby. He didn't think he would have...........

'Ollie you wanna come visit at my house?' Daryl asked him, Ollie shook his head.

'Not sposed to go with Strangers,'

'With your ma? She can come too,' Daryl told him. 'I gotta nap, what do you want to do? Come hang out in the room or?'

'We might come for a bit then go to the little park not far from here for a bit,' Carol told him.

She held Ollies hand while they crossed the road to go back to the room. Daryl grabbed their bags out of the car. He went through to the small bathroom to take a shower. Ollie sat on the bed watching cartoons, there was one big bed and one small one in the room. She could sleep anywhere with Ollie. Ollie tucked up on the bed watching tv. She knocked on the bathroom door telling him she was going to go to the little store for a minute he needed to keep his ear out for Ollie. He told her to leave the bathroom door open so he could hear him.

She locked the motel room door, she didn't need anything. She just needed a few minutes break from Daryl and Ollie, their looks were the same, she'd tried to deny how much he looked like his dad. Now she needed to get herself sorted not to fall into the trap of feeling what she was feeling seeing him again. She went across the street to the store, she was going to use some of the money she had to buy him a few toys to play with. The weather looked bad and they wouldn't make it to the park at all. She also needed to text Tara and give her an ear full.

Ollie sat on the bed staring at the tv, he watched his mum leave him for a minute. His eyes went to Daryl as he come out wrapped in a towel to grab his clothes. Ollie stared at his back and sides, pointing to his tattoos. He pointed to a word on his side that was tattoo down from his side from his chest to his hip.

'Whats up buddy?'

'Sophia?' Ollie sat he crawled across on his knees, 'S, O, P, H, I, A.................. Sophia died, she was a baby before me, when she was a baby,  Mummy has it,'

Daryl stood there as he touched his skin tapping each letter tattoo'd on his side, he pulled his tee shirt on over his head, 'Yeah she did, but................. '

'But Mummy's happy now, I make her laugh,' Ollie watched as Daryl tried to put on boxer shorts without flashing anyone under his towel, He pulled on jog pants and turned looking at Ollie, 'Mummy has one,'

'One what?'

'S. O. P. H. I. A,' Ollie spelt out, he held his arms out for Daryl to pick him up. He hesitated before pulling him up into his arms, his lips meeting his head as he held his son for the first time, bringing him into him for the first cuddle, 'Don't be sad, she's a angel now, looking after other angels, Princess of Angels,'

'Princess of Angels huh? Who told you that?'

'Aunty Tara, she knows everything, she's very smart, she knows about Dinosaurs too, and..........' Ollie grabbed Daryl face, 'Lets me eat lollies,' he whispered in Daryl's ear.

'Aunty Tara's a smart lady,'

'She's knows the Queen of the Fairies who's friends with the Queen of the Angels and she said Sophia is happy now and Mummy doesn't need to be sad,' Ollie told him, 'Don't be sad,'

'I'm not sad,' Daryl told him, he had water filling into his eyes, this kid was reading him like a book. He was very sad, he'd been sad for a long time.

'Dude!' Ollie wiped his tears that were forming, 'Aunty Tara said it so its true,'

'Ok little man we getting a little heavy for how tired I am,' Daryl tried to put him down but he hung like a monkey crawling around to his back and just stayed there hanging on while he had a quick shave and finished getting dressed. Carol come in surprised to see Ollie still riding on Daryl's back. Daryl looked sad and Ollie was in the process of wiping his tears again when Carol looked at him.

'Tell him about the Queen of the Fairies, and about S. O. P. H. I. A , he's got a Sophia tattoo too,' Ollie told her.

'I don't know if Daryl wants to hear the story about Sophia the princess of the Angels?' 

'Show him,' Ollie pointed to her hip, Carol sighed and lifted her shirt to revel the tattoo with their daughters name and the princess Angel beside it.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Carol was sitting beside Ollie's bed while he was drifting off to sleep. Daryl had had a huge sleep and they went to the park in the late afternoon. Carol had played quietly with Ollie finally able to relax in her knowledge that he would not let anything happen to him. Also she wasn't alone anymore, she knew that even with all he did he wouldn't let anything happen to Ollie right now. It was good to feel safe she hadn't felt safe for a long time now especially now she had the threat of having him taken off her.

They then went out for dinner. It was an awkward affair Daryl was trying to help with Ollie in some way but the little guy was over tired and refusing to sit at the table, in the end Carol was eating one handed and she'd lost pretty much all her appetite because she kept seeing the look on Daryl's face, it was similar to the one he had when they lost their baby, he was realizing quickly that he'd lost a big chunk of this little boy's life. To be honest she really didn't have time to consider his feeling right now, she was too busy dealing with all her own. 

They made their way back to the motel room, Carol brought back with her the food she hadn't eaten and used the tiny kitchen to make herself a cup of tea hoping that would calm her stomach. She just wanted to sleep and sleep for a very long long time without worrying about someone trying to get at her by using Ollie to do it. Carol wasn't able to shut it down, she couldn't help but worry what would happen when they caught up with her. They would work out quickly she was gone and when they put two and two together they would track her easily back to Daryl.

Carol had given ollie a shower in the bathroom then dressed him in a slept suit and went through a routine to put him to bed. She'd always put him to bed. If it wasn't Carol putting him to bed it was Tara. He was a easy going little boy, full of words and questions. He'd been firing questions to Daryl all day. Some of the questions raised her eyebrows to wonder how Daryl would answer them.

Carol explained it away because he hadn't been around men at all. She didn't date or introduced him to men anywhere and the fact that Daryl was one of the first men she'd let him talk to he wanted to know all about him from whether he stood up to pee and had a penis to did he brush his teeth with a tooth brush. Daryl didn't know what to do about the questions and Carol told him just to answer them straight forward like he would answer any question. Be honest. 

'Do you have a penis?' Ollie asked Daryl.

'Yes, do you?'

'Yes because I'm a boy, boys have a penis and girls have a vagda, mum has one so does Aunty Tara but I have a penis,' He told Daryl like he was letting him into some trade secret as he dropped his voice for the last bit, Daryl went a little red at his explanation about his Mum and Aunty Tara. 'Your not sposed to show anyone so you just have to believe me ok,'

'Ok dude I believe you,' he glanced at Carol a little shocked about the way the conversation was heading. He seemed to have a big understanding of Stranger Danger which was good. 

'Do you have a toothbrush?' Ollie asked.

'Yes, its a red one, what colours yours?'

'Yellow with ducks, you wanna see it?'

'Sure,'

'Do you have boy jocky's?' Ollie asked him.

'Yes, I've got black ones,'

'Mine have trucks on them,' Ollie was full of questions and wanted answers. 'You just have to believe me cos mum will growl if I showed anyone,'

'Do you have any kids?' Ollie asked him, Daryl clammed up and told Ollie he needed to take a nap, he was really tired. Carol saw the heartbreak flash across his face. He didn't know how to answer the constant questions.  Ollie become interested in the facial hair on Daryl's face. He touched it every chance he got. When he got out of the shower Carol was trying to get him dressed Ollie was looking at Daryl lying on the bed, he was napping again.

'Is he like a baby, needs lots of sleep?' Ollie asked Carol.

'No he just drove all night long to find us, he's very tired and tomorrow we are going to go stay at Daryl's place for a bit,' Carol put on his pj's, 'would you like that?'

'Does he like children?' Ollie asked her, Carol looked across at Daryl and could tell by the way he was breathing he was faking it. He didn't want to intrude on their conversation. Carol did wonder if he did like children she had no doubt he'd had loved their daughter, finding out about Ollie was a shocker and he really didn't know where it was all going. She wondered if he was trying to get to know the little boy reluctantly at the moment. He seemed to be a little shocked about it all still. He seemed to be really struggling with the guilt.

'I think he likes you, that's all we need to worry about right now,'

'He's not going to scare us?'

'No, he's a good man, he's a nice man, Mummy wouldn't come with him if he was going to scare us,' Carol told him, she pulled him up to cuddled him. She rocked him a little before tucking him into bed, stroking his head and then when he fell asleep she looked across at Daryl.  It was all that was keeping her sane at the moment that he was a good man he wouldn't hurt Ollie and would do his best to protect him, he drove all night to help her with Ollie and she had to separate the cheating from the helping her because it was all starting to muddle inside her head, 'He's asleep,' she told him quietly as she moved about tucking him down in the bed.

'You think I'm still a good man even though I did that to you?' Daryl asked her quietly.

'I think ............... I think we made a lot of mistakes, I forgave you a long time ago, I'm not going to forget though,' Carol told him, 'I went to counseling for 2 years and a grief group for that long, I think you are still a good man, you drove all night for us without second guessing he might not be yours, and even if he wasn't yours you still drove all night to help us....................... that makes you a very good man, and I thank you for that,'

He shifted up in his bed looking at her. His expression was hard to read she knew he wanted to ask her more questions about it but Carol wouldn't let him go there, she had to make it though the next couple of days and get Ollie to the house where they could come up with some sort of plan to make it look like their marriage was back on track and if Social Services arrived they would arrive finding a couple who'd found love again living with their son. Planning a future together, even if it was all just a big fat lie.

'But it doesn't mean we are a thing, I know he's going to come after me again, send in people in this state. I can't get back with you but I need you to help me make them think that we are a couple, happily married again,'

'What did this guy do?'

'He works for the state, Phillip Blake, he wanted me to you know............. and when I said 'No' it just turned to shit, he demoted me, I lost my job and our apartment and then he got me evicted from our last place and the old guy who was the landlord said he was going to send in Child Services because I was homeless.............. Tara sorted everything out for me, I guess she rung you too, I had no other choice but to go to a man for protection even though I ......................'

'He tried to force himself on you?' Daryl sounded angry, he'd met guys like that before who thought they could get whatever they wanted. It made him sick that someone had threatened her and made it impossible to raise Ollie the way she wanted too. He was pleased she was back but he knew right in that moment he was a last resort which indicated how much she really disliked him. He didn't blame her, he disliked himself right now, he just never thought Carol would let him know outright how much she really really hated him. 

'Carol...................... I'ma .................. ' Daryl struggled to say something, she knew he wanted to talk about her and she just couldn't.

'Don't...................... I can't right now, maybe when we get home,' Carol said.

'I kept everything, I packed it away the way you wanted it, I finished the scrapbook thing, probably not the way you wanted it but............. I ..............'

'Please stop saying you're sorry,' Carol said, she moved off the bed and moved around. Daryl moved over on the double bed, she sat down for a moment, 'Stop saying your sorry, I know you are, I just can't go there anymore, I don't have those ......................... I don't know, I just don't feel that way about you anymore, it went when I saw you with her, but I think we could be friends,'

She stood up and went to her back pack coming out with a photo book she handed it to him and went to shower. When she come out he was really looking at the baby photos, she could tell he was trying to see a likeness between Ollie and Sophia. The dimples and the eyes and the little bow mouth was the same. He would see that soon she had no doubts he would see it. She had pj's on, she shoved him over a bit more to give her space and settled down to watch a movie for a bit. They fell asleep on the bed together somehow during the night become intangible with each other. Carol woke before him and wriggled out of his arms, rolled over and stared at the little bump in the bed beside the big one with the little boy she was trying to keep safe.


	5. Chapter 5

Maggie was sitting on her husbands lap leaning in kissing him, She had a knee on either side of him. She was tired, they had a new born and now they were worried about Daryl with the added information of Carol with Ollie in tow were making their way slowly back across state lines home. It sounded like a long way to drive with a 4 year old. Merle had talked to Daryl twice and he could tell by the tone of Daryl's voice that he did know a little of what had happened with the break up of his marriage. Carol had told him he had cheated but he was sure she wouldn't have said with who as yet.   
  
He leaned in and kissed his wife again, his arms going around her back rubbing up and down her spine. He sighed a little, his mouth moved down her jaw towards her neck. She moaned a little quietly, she was sure that their kids had some sort of in build sensor that anytime their Mama and Dad got together to kiss someone was on a roster to wake, they  didn't get much time for good old fashion make out sessions and she could tell Merle was a bundle of nerves. She leaned in putting her head on his broad shoulders and his arms wrapped around her.

'Do ya think I should have told him?'

'Told him what?' 

'The reason Carol left?'

'I don't know, tell him that you were dating a fucken whore?' Maggie sighed, 'The whole town knew you were, you were the only one who didn't realize what a big whore she was,' Maggie was still bitter about it, she rarely said words like that, Merle growled her a little.

'Mouth,'

'Well she was..................... she screwed your brother while she was dating you and she knew he was off his face, she's a whore and he fell for it. She deserved to get run out of town and a good old fashion woop arse, ' Maggie kissed his neck, she knew he did wonder about it, Maggie had gone after her with her cat claws raised when she found out about her sleeping with Daryl, he rubbed her back to calm her down a little, 'Thanks for bailing me out of jail,' she kissed him again.

'Yeah its the last time I do that, thanks for thanking me in the truck after,' Merle slapped her arse and kissed her back. 'But it was my fault I left her there, I knew what she was like,'

'Daryl's a big boy, he slept with her willingly, how many times have you been drunk off your arse and still chosen not to go sleep with someone else. Being drunk doesn't excuse the fact he slept with someone else,'

'He doesn't remember it though,'

'Or he chosen to block it out, forget he did it, the brain is a powerful thing, he did it, I don't think he was all a fault and its taken me this long to forgive him mainly because he's your brother, family but she was to blame too. She came onto him,  _but he didn't say no!'_

Amonst the grief surrounding the whole affair Merle and Maggie had never ever been friends. Maggie hated the women who Merle was dating back then with a passion, possibly more that Carol did before she slept with Daryl. She'd slept with Maggies boyfriend with she was 18. She had no shame in sleeping with married men and often saw them as a challenge. Maggie hated the fact that Merle was even dating her which made it difficult for everyone when they ever went anywhere. Merle normally come alone because he knew his sister inlaw hated her, and Maggie Greene was always with her, they had had a blow up at their house warming because she was there. 

Maggie hadn't held back that day either, she hated her and ordered her out of Carol's house calling her all the names under the sun. At the time Carol was 5 month's pregnant and Daryl had asked Merle to take her away he didn't want Carol stressed out. Merle knew she was a bit of a bitch but he liked them like that. He just shrugged and told her to go and stayed without her talking with his brother. From that moment on she'd made a point of dropping in visiting with Merle just to prove a point. Carol knew at the time she wasn't that into Merle but more Daryl. She'd warned both the men about her and how she didn't trust her. Daryl had just laughed it off telling her she had nothing to worry about. 

When Maggie found out what she did she went after her arse, Merle was there at the bar where she worked trying to find out what had happened, Carol had text Maggie and Maggie had arrived at the bar she'd smashed up her car in the car park smashing her head lights and then launched herself at the other women bringing down a fist into her face, Merle was shocked at the fight going on in front of him and he quickly reacted and Maggie was dragged off around the waist by Merle and dragged full bodily to his truck and held there until she calmed down. 

The police had arrived and arrested Maggie, Merle hadn't taken much notice of the farmers daughter before then, she was a little square but she went in with boots blazing to defend her friend. If it hadn't been such a horrible time he would have been quite turned on. They kept Maggie overnight and Merle went home to sort Daryl out. He left him sleeping with Glenn Rhee watching him so he didn't choke in his own vomit and went down to bail out the farmers daughter. Both of them were terribly upset and one thing led to the other in the backseat of his truck in the car park of the police station. They still hadn't lived it down where Martinez tapped on the window as he saw Merle's bare arse going up and down on the back seat of his truck. They were lucky they were both not arrested, they turned a blind eye at them both and told them to take that shit home. 

Merle hadn't given it another thought dropping Maggie off to her car at the bar and going home to sort out Daryl until 6 weeks later a awkward Maggie showed up at the garage asking to speak with Merle. Merle's mouth dropped open when he found out he'd gotten her pregnant and they basically had been together ever since. They had a quick marriage so Maggies father didn't disown her. He wasn't happy about her marrying Merle Dixon but when he saw the way Merle dotted on her and now their children he gave them his blessing. Maggie was his only child and he didn't want to see her end up with someone who didn't appreciate her. Merle tried to appreciate her any chance he got, hence the reason they had had three children quickly. 

She stopped things from going further on the couch, he had his hands on her arse and was just beginning to rub his face in between her boobs, he looked at her and pouted a little. 'We need birth control, or something,'

'I'll run out right now and buy some rubbers,' Merle all but pushed her off his lap as she giggled. He hadn't had any since she had the new baby. He hadn't had any three months before the new baby except a couple of hand jobs during a make out session, he still didn't run his arse around town cheating on her. She wouldn't be here if he did, he knew she was classy, he always felt she was above him but she loved him and he'd been trying to be a better man for her. He knew he was batting out of his league but Maggie loved him and told him every day that she did, slowly but surely she'd chipped away at his armor of arsehole and become a man that you would be proud of. 

He'd barely had a drop of booze not drinking like he used too. Stopped smoking pot and stayed out of bars and fights. A few beers sometimes, he preferred to spend time at the park with his kids than running around town. He knew he had it made and was thankful he'd knocked her up, it was the best thing that ever happened to him. She was right though, it wasn't on him that Daryl cheated on his wife, but he couldn't help it. He shouldn't of left that women anywhere near him. 

He was needy though he wanted her and run his hands down her side pulling her roughly to him mouth so he could continue to kiss her again. He didn't want to think about his brother anymore he wanted to touch his wife, she let him graze the side of her breast, he knew they were for the baby right now but he knew if he was gentle she would let him touch and play with them some. He began to kiss slowly down the valley towards his goal, she pushed him away a little, 'Its too soon,' Maggie told him, 'unless you are gentle,'

'I'll be so gentle you won't even know I'm there,' he whispered against her mouth, she gave him a half nod knowing that if it was too sore he would back off and let her be, take care of himself without putting any pressure on her.

He nodded to her and moved her gently off him, kissing her again,  he was shoving his feet into shoes and grabbing his wallet and keys to the truck before she could even remind him that they needed milk for breakfast. She sighed as he backed down the drive. She couldn't help but wonder if Carol would think she let her down, they both let her down. She hoped she wouldn't be made. She'd been Carol's best friend forever and she couldn't believe that the women Merle had been dating actually used it as an opportunity to get what she always wanted. To fuck Daryl. She hated her, she really did. She sniffed herself and decided to take herself off to have a quick shower so she might be even more appealing to her husband when he got back. If the baby stayed asleep that long.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow guys, totally over whelmed with all the lovely comments on this fic. I must admit I was nervous about posting it up because of the cheating. Lets see if we can take a little step further.

Daryl didn't realize the trip that took him just over 8 hours to drive on his own would take two days to drive back with a 4 year old in tow. He was standing outside a cafe watching Carol try coax him back into a car seat. Ollie didn't want to go he wanted to be carried the rest of the way in arms and they could walk there. Carol was trying to tell him that they still had a long way to go. They still had another three hours to go on their trip.

Daryl had rung Merle hours before to go to the store and buy him a bed, some toys, some clothes and anything that Merle could think of to put in the fridge that he should have for a 4 year old. Daryl told Merle to get what he thought and sort the bedroom out please for the little guy incase they had people show up on the doorstep the moment they got home he wanted to be prepaired. He'd asked Carol about clothes for him. She told him what sizes to get and Merle was going to put it all on the shops credit card and Daryl would pay that. He felt a little better knowing he wasn't going to be going into a pretty empty house. It was a shell of a home. Nothing really had moved since she left. Her tooth brush was still in the bathroom mocking him and he'd let Maggie throw out the rotting food in the fridge only when it started to smell. She'd been sneaky and thrown out stuff that needed to go. Every thing else was left as it was.

Maggie had gone over, with Merle and her baby and they had giving the house a going over. It wasn't dirty but just unloved. One man didn't make it dirty but she wanted it to be nice for Carol. She had her baby strapped to her and vacumed everywhere. Merle had cleaned the windows and put the curtains through the wash. By the time they finished the house looked loved somewhat. Maggie went with Merle to choose stuff for Ollie and new beds for the whole house. Merle organized some of the guys from work to come over to help him move funiture and make beds. Maggie took tags off clothes and washed everything. Put it through the dryer and folded it for Ollie to come home to a clean room with clean clothes.

They both stared at the little shelf with Sophia's ashes. Merle took it all down, whipped everything. Dusted everything. It was the one area of the house Daryl kept on top of every week wiping it all down and cleaning it up. Merle put up some art to take the blandness off the walls. When Carol lived there the house always felt welcoming, warm and inviting. They tried their best to create that feel in all the rooms. Merle decided in his wisdom to move Daryl's room around. They took out the old bed and brought in the new one with new everything, covers, blankets and duvet cover. There was a huge photo of their wedding day on the wall plus some baby photos in frames. Maggie looked at them as to take them down. Merle said to leave it all and they just dusted around, opened windows.  It was done and now waiting for the family to come home.

Merle had listened to Daryl on the phone and told him that they would get it sorted for him. It would be done before they got home. Daryl briefly told him about Carol's problems and that they were getting on ok. He was blown away that he had a little boy. Looking at him made his heart ache go away a little. Merle told him that he was pleased they were getting on ok. Daryl didn't mention the fact he knew that Merle knew he cheated on Carol.  He was going to touch on that again when he arrived home. He just wanted the little guy to have what he needed. Merle told him that he and Maggie would sort it all out. 

Daryl had quickly realized they wouldn't be getting home that day as the little boy went into full melt down. He was tired. He'd had enough of the car for that day and needed a rest. Hell they all needed a rest right now but they were nudging the state line. He could see the stress on Carol's face and the tears falling quietly down the little boys face and he couldn't keep them going on.

'Carol lets just get a room, he's tired as fuck,' Daryl said, he put his hand over his mouth realizing what he said. Ollie heard it, Carol heard it and she waited for the repeat button to start working as Ollie liked to remember and repeat everything he shouldn't. Daryl had a lot to learn about being around children, he let what ever he was thinking come flying out of his mouth, Carol flashed him a look that he knew he was going to get in deep shit if he kept it up.

'Dont' say that,' Carol hissed, 'Don't listen,' she told Ollie, Ollie opened his mouth to repeat the word and he caught Carol's eye and shut his mouth, and yawned. 

They wouldn't get back till after midnight at this rate and the house wouldn't be ready he didn't think and trying to do stuff late at night it would be better for them all to go tomorrow and just be done with it. Daryl looked around and indicated to a hotel down the road a bit. It was more up market than where they were staying it didn't bother him where they were staying he had plenty of money, Carol had been insisting on paying half. 'Why don't we just get a room down there or something?'

'I can't afford to stay there,' she told him.

'I'll pay, shit Carol, you're moving back in with me, assuming you won't have a job so I'm going to be paying for everything anyway's, we can afford it, its not like I've been spending my money on anything else,' he said, 'Just lets go before he winds up and starts howling or something, we could get one with a spa or something, chill out, room service the works. Lets just chill out and we can have a decent chat once he's in bed,'

'Ok fine, ok,' Carol was tired and Ollie was crying. Daryl didn't know what to do now, they barely been talking to each other both wrapped up in their own thoughts, Daryl kept saying he was sorry and Carol wanted to put her hands around his neck or something. She couldn't believe their marriage had ended and he didn't remember why.

'Come on little guy, you want to walk down the road with me and ya ma can drive the car,' Daryl suggested, Carol did up his jacket and Ollie accepted the shoulder ride on Daryl's shoulders and they walked down the 500 yards to get yet another room for the night. Ollie was going to think he was a no mad soon flitting from hotel to hotel, Carol was going to insist they order some thing decent to each tonight. Also they all needed to get a good sleep. The past two nights had been funny sleeping patterns and arrangements. 

Both nights Carol had ended up sharing with Daryl and somehow during the nights they made it into each others arms. Something she wanted to put a stop too. It wasn't something she was interested in going back for. She followed down the road in the car and pulled into the car park. Daryl went in with Ollie and got a room. He come back with keys and grabbed their bags to go in. The room was fancy, really fancy and Ollie was jumping all over the bed. She looked at Daryl.

'It was the last room left, we all going to have to share,' he pointed to the one massive bed that could sleep about 6 people across, she sighed and nodded.

'When all this sorts itself out, Ollie and I will find our own place, you can still visit him,' 

Daryl just looked at her, he didn't really know what to say. 'Look, you can stay at the house, I'll move out, if you give me a bit, I'll fix up the plumbing in the flat above the garage and move in there. The house is paid off. If you don't want to be in that house because of the memories, we can sell it and buy somewhere else, whatever you want. If you really really want to work we do need someone to do the books and ordering while Merle's wifes .................... she just had another baby,.................... you know till you find something,'

'Merle got married?' Carol's gut dropped, he'd married her. She wanted to vomit.

Daryl wandered around the room opening up the bathroom door, sure enough there was a huge spa bath in there. Another day another time he would of suggested filling it and staying in there until they wrinkled. Carol was putting a wall up, the moving out and away she was making it clear to him she only wanted to remain friends. She wanted the whole stalking thing to end and she needed him to protect her from losing Ollie. The look on her face made it clear. Her words said she forgive him but her frame of mind said she might not even want to be friends, maybe just tolerate him now.

'He married the farmers daughter,' Daryl told her.

'Maggie? My Maggie? They have kids? How?' Carol was confused she was also happy he didn't marry her.

'Well they both were looking for you and I guess they spent long enough together in a car that they realized they fancied each other. Got 3 kids too, 2 boys and a...............' Daryl stalled, he hadn't even looked at her photo when Merle tried to show him, 'Phoebe,' He looked around the room looking awkward a little, she could see it wasn't something he was comfortable with, 'I ain't seen them.................... I couldn't you know, it hurts really bad,'

Carol just stood there, Ollie tugging on her hand when she realized she missed so much, her best friend married Merle Dixon of all people, that loud drinking foul mouth she used to hate, but had helped her when she was grieving. She really couldn't believe it. How the heck did that even work. Maggie was so kind and sweet and Merle.............. well he was the biggest arsehole she'd ever met, except that one time after they lost Sophia he was there for her, 'What about Glenn?'

'Well Glenn realized he batted for the other team, got himself a cute little cop, Caesar Martinez,' Daryl tried to keep a straight face because Carol looked like she was in shock. 

'Martinez?' Carol looked at him, 'The guy who called himself a walking chick device now with Glenn,' 

'Yeah and they are kinda cute,' Daryl admitted, 'Even Merle thinks they are cute together,'

Carol couldn't' believe  it really, she just stood there not knowing what was the weirder couple. She held her hands out to Ollie to jump off the bed and suggested they looked at the menus to see what they wanted for dinner. Fruit Salad, and healthy options were some of the things she had in mind. Daryl pulled out his phone to give his brother a call to let them know they wouldn't be there until tomorrow. 


	7. Chapter 7

They all slept ok, again during the night Carol had ended up in his arm's she couldn't wait to get her own room away from them. She felt cut off from her emotions when she looked at him. She didn't feel excited or happy just numb. She knew it was hard for him but it was all she could do to keep herself safe. She had turned the small sofa around and pushed it against the wall and made a make shift bed in it for Ollie. 

Daryl got dressed after his shower, they had to check out by ten but they were ready to go by 8 and they were hungry. They piled in the car and drove until they found a dinner to go have a meal. He looked at her off and on while he drove, then he drove into a car park. He noticed her twisting her hands a little something she used to do when she was nervous. He didn't know what she was nervous about, maybe the fact that they would be back at their house in less than three hours once they hit the road again, a house full of memories that she wasn't quite ready to face.

'Its going to be ok,' he told her, he reached across and squeezed her hand, she looked down at it and nodded, he held it longer than he needed to right up until he needed two hands to get off the highway and into the dinner on the side of the road.

She held Ollie's hand while they walked into the dinner and a waitress took them too their seats and brought them coffee and some milk for Ollie. She told them someone would be over to take their order shortly once they decided. Carol watched as Ollie crawled under the table to Daryl climbing up on his knee sucking on a straw that they gave him with his milk. He was looking at Daryl hard. Carol wanted the floor to open up and swallow her and it was all the waitresses fault that brought the coffee over. Ollie was highly interested in what the waitress had to say. He didn't miss anything that anyone said. People needed to be more careful about comments.

It was clear to anyone who looked at them that Ollie was Daryl's, and Daryl was his Dad. They looked clones of each other. The waitress wasn't to know that Ollie didn't know who Daryl was all she said was, 'Are you having a lovely breakfast out with your Mummy and Daddy,' she asked him, he'd looked at the waitress and nodded. Carol knew by the look on his face that she had sparked his interest. 

Big flappy ear's Ollie who never missed a trip had looked hard at his mother with a question in his eyes, Carol had just nodded when he asked the question, 'Is Daryl my Daddy? Mine? Like Joey's Daddy? I've got a real one?' Ollie's eyes were wide, his little face processed the information and then he made a beeline for Daryl.

Now he was staring at Daryl and poking his face to check. Daryl just sat and looked a bit shocked, he'd expected Carol to deny it or fob him off, Carol had quickly realized that they wouldn't be able to hide the truth from him if waitresses could see it everyone in town would see it. Ollie had become close to Daryl due to the three days they had been staying in motels together and in the car. Ollie was trying to look down his shirt and Daryl just went with it. He was doing something that Carol couldn't' quite work out what the hell he was doing but he kept poking Daryl with a finger then looked into his eyes his face really close to Daryls noses almost touching. He run his fingers though Daryl's hair.

'What ya doing?' Daryl finally asked him.

Ollie stood up on his legs and turned around sat back down on Daryl's knee leaning back onto Daryl's chest. He looked at his mother with a sigh, he nodded and said 'Ok,'

'Ok?'

'Yeah he can be one, he's not made of wood or got cooties,' Ollie told her, Carol could fell the laughter coming up her throat. She kinda wanted to die a little, she wanted to kill Tara for her explaination to why she never dated men. Cooties was a word that she banished about about men a great deal, she also told Ollie a lot if he didn't take a bath he would catch Cooties. Carol bit her lip trying not to laugh. Daryl's face was flaming, Carol didn't know if he found it funny or not, she found it funny. She wanted to burst out laughing for the first time in weeks and she did.

'Aunty Tara, told him boys are made of wood and have cooties,' Carol laughed, Daryl looked at her shaking his head.

'Glad I pass then,' Daryl chuckled at the comment, she felt a little relieved about the fact he wasn't offended about it, Daryl just thought he was a weird little kid with some of the stuff he was coming out with.

 'That's good Ollie but its not really ok to check people for cooties,' Carol scolded him, Daryl was trying not to laugh about it, she couldn't' help it it was funny. She smiled at them both for a minute it was the first time she had smiled at him since he picked her up and if it was about him having cooties Daryl was going to take it. He smiled back at her and gave her a wink. She was glad in a way that Ollie knew who he was and it wasn't terribly upsetting for him about it. He didn't look heart broken about it, in fact he made himself comfortable on Daryl lap, Daryl had been getting better and better with touching him. He didn't look as panic'd as he'd looked the first time she'd seen him with Ollie on his back at the motel.

Carol was feeling happy and confident for the first time in a while with what was happening and then she looked up to see their meals coming and who was bringing them she felt her stomach drop to the ground when she saw who was bringing their breakfast over. The women put it on the table and smiled at them.

'Carol nice to see you and Daryl back together, cute kid you both have,' 

Carol couldn't believe it, the person she'd hated her whole life from the time she was at primary school, Karen, she hated her even more now. Daryl knew she hated her. Really really did to a point she glanced at the table to make sure there were no knives with in easy reach. She'd imagined this moment over and over in her head but now face to face all the words and the comments went flying out of her head. She just needed to get out of here, the room felt like it was too small and she could hardly breath.

She was half the reason her marriage ended and the other half was sitting across from her. She knew.............. she knew they just lost a baby and she slept with Daryl anyway, she always had a spite thing going about Carol. Right from the time they were 5 and she cut the hair off Carol's doll and it continued the rest of their schooling life. she scratched her car when she was 16, what ever Carol had Karen wanted or she found a way to wreck it. She'd been after Daryl for years before they got married and Carol knew Daryl was to blame but Karen also took advantage of him while he was drunk. She couldn't forgive him or her for that ever.

Carol stood and looked at Daryl, 'I'm not hungry,' and she held her hands out for the car keys and he handed them too her not knowing what was going on. Carol bolted leaving him sitting there with the meals and Ollie on his knee.

'I'm so sorry,' Karen said as she  looked at him, 'I didn't think she would still hold a grudge and all that, you all went on to have another baby, so we had a fling, I'm sorry Daryl, no hard feelings right?'

'What's a fling?' Ollie asked his father.

'Go.................... now,' Daryl told her, he knew suddenly why Carol left and had it all flooding back into his head, he did........................ he did it all right, slept with the only women Carol hated in the whole planet, a month after their baby died. He remembered seeing Carol in the room looking at him and her, he remembered Merle being there. Carol's screaming and Merle trying to calm her down. He remembered just groaning as the women climbed out from underneath him and she told Carol on her way out he wasn't that good anyway's. Daryl just flopped down and shut his eyes. Blocked it out, It was hazzy but he knew she wasn't lying. He'd cheated on her.................. _with Karen, Merle's girlfriend at the time, FUCK!_.

He looked out to the car park he could see Carol leaning over the car, he knew she was being sick. He waved another waiter down and asked for their food to go. He grabbed it and Ollies hand leaving a tip and a note telling Karen to stay the fuck away from his family. He went out to see if he could repair any of the damage. He had the food in one hand and Ollie in the other, he knew enough to know not to say much in front of the little boy or talk in code.

'I remember now,' he told her, she just nodded and held her hands out to Ollie to get him in the car. 'We need to talk,'

'I don't want to, it hurts, I think................ I think I'm dying or having a heart attack,' she held onto her chest, and tried not to sob, Ollie looked frightened, She reached out and rubbed his hair trying to reassure him she was fine but she wasn't. Everything hurt, it did. She crawled into the back seat with Ollie refusing to sit near him and shut her eyes waiting for him to start the car. He couldn't' because Ollie was wanting breakfast and Daryl was trying to fix it all for him to eat in the car. Finally they drove, he turned the music on to try calm everyone down and just get home to the house where he knew going inside the house would be a big ask also.

 


	8. Chapter 8

Daryl pulled up on the road outside the house, Carol looked up the path and saw it in a different light. Her flowers were gone, it looked different. The yard was clean and clear, the grass green but there didn't seem to be any love or an idea it was a home outside the house. She looked to the left of the front path there were a few kids toys scattered about to give the pressece of a child living there. She knew it had to be Merle, he'd come and made it look like Ollie lived there just in case they arrived today and wanted to look around. Maggie had brought their kids over to rip around the house and to make it looked lived in before they got home. They hadn't trashed Ollie's room but it did now look like kids lived in there and Merle almost cringed giving his oldest a marker to draw on the wall.

Daryl got out of the car and stretched, Ollie unbuckled himself and opened his door. Carol looked out again and tried to talk herself into getting out of the Car. Merle opened the front door and started walking down off the porch to greet them, he looked past Daryl at Ollie who was still standing near the Car and Carol who was still sitting in the car, Daryl heard the click of the passanger door open and he knew she was getting out. He looked over his shoulder at her and Carol was still hanging out by the gate Ollie just burst past Daryl into the house. He probably hit every single room and bounced on every bed by the time Daryl made it into the lounge to put the  bags down. 

'How's it going?' Merle asked him, he followed him into the house Daryl just shook his head, he looked behind him where Carol was still coming up the path, 'I ummmmmmmmm got ya a new bed and put another one in the spare room. I made the 4th bedroom up for Ollie I didn't know if you wanted to use her room you know for the little guy,'

'Yeah? Thanks,'

Ollie come bursting past Daryl down the path to his mother grabbing her hand and pulling her with him, he had a pillow tucked under his arm,  'I got a bed and some car's and a baby doll and a fire house and a pillow,'

'A pillow?' Carol's voice was strained, she just looked panic'd, she thought she dealt with all her emotions years ago but she hadn't, Daryl come to the door, he called Ollie to him to come help with the bag. Ollie run up the path with his pillow as fast as his little legs could take him up the steps into the house.

Merle come down the path to greet her, he wrapped her in a huge hug almost lifting her off her feet. She let herself go right in that moment with his strong arms around her wrapping her arms around his broad back letting her head fall on his shoulder and began to sob in a way she hadn't really let herself in over 5 years. To his credit Merle just stood there rocking her a little as she cried, getting a wet shirt.  He didn't know what to say, so he just didn't say anything. She and Merle never really had been friends except when Sophia died it hit Merle bad and he'd been a rock for her when everything went bad with Daryl. Surprising her by kicking his whore of a girlfriend out of the house, trying to calm her down, taking her to the motel. Everything he did was in support of her because underneath all his attitude and tough guy image he had loved Sophia with all his heart.

'Shush now I got ya, old Merle he got ya,' he just hooked his arms under her knees and picked her up like she was nothing taking her up the path and past the front door she was was upset about stepping over. He walked through to the couch and set himself down with her on her lap. She looked around seeing the photos still where they were the little shelf and the urn with the baby ashes in it being carefully looked after by Daryl and she lost it again, She couldn't stop crying and eventually let it all out, she cried herself out, cried herself to sleep. Daryl had held Ollie back showing him around the house keeping him away, taking him out back showing him about.

'She's thin,' Merle commented as Daryl come back into the lounge to check, he had Ollie on his hip looking at Carol and Merle on the couch, 'Fuck!'  Merle run his hand over his face shocked about everything. Daryl looked about the house and could tell Merle had had his kids there. Art on the fridge, kid stuff spread about.

'Fuck!' Ollie said looking at Merle, he was rubbing Daryl's face, 'You got cooties?' he asked Merle. Merle looked at Ollie like it didn't surprise him by the question and he shook his head.

'No, he looks like you...................... and his sister,' Merle commented looking at the little boy, Daryl was busy trying to tell him not to repeat Uncle Merle. He put Ollie down on the ground and walked over picking up Carol. Merle was right, she was thin and light as a feather. He had no trouble carrying her.

Merle tugged off her shoes and it wasn't the first time he Carried her down the hall. He saw Merle had brought a new bed for him, he'd also brought a bed for Ollie and a queen spare in the other room he stalled and looked around wondering where to put her, in the end he put her in the master bedroom, he pulled a throw up over her. He found another blanket and pulled the curtains. He stood staring at her for a few minutes before walking out and just leaving the door ajar.

Daryl come out to see Ollie showing Merle how to fist bump and Ollie was calling him 'Dude!' Merle was going along with it. Ollie then decided to jump from the couch over and over trying to see how far he could get. 'Can I get a kitten?' he asked Daryl, 'Mummy said we had no house now we got one, I want one,' Daryl just shrugged, he didn't want to say yes or no to anything. By the end of the day he could end up with anything. 'Do they have one's with white feet?' 

'He's a yabber mouth,' Merle said, 'Calm down little dude,'

'That's ya Uncle Merle, he's got a potty mouth,' Daryl told him.

'Not anymore, your Aunty Maggie's going to want to see you,' Merle reached out to touch him again, 'he's a keeper Daryl, Maggie's busting to get here, but we didn't know cos of the baby and that,' Daryl nodded knowing they were not there because of their baby girl. They had understood about it, Daryl had trouble getting over it, and to be honest right now going to see Merles new baby didn't seem as daunting as it did before now he knew about Ollie.

'No, Aunty Tara,' Ollie told Merle, he pointed at the photos and art around the room looking at everything and taking it all in. 'Just Aunty Tara, can she come here?'

'You want something to eat?' Daryl asked Ollie he shook his head and looked around the room again and zero'd in on the baby photos, he walked to look at some of the photos around the room he picked up one of Sophia and wandered off down the hall with the photo in the frame. Merle watched Daryl for his reaction of what he was doing. Daryl's hands were shaking and he looked panic'd.

Daryl first instinct was to scream and tell him to leave it alone to put it back, he was worried that he was going to wreak it or something. Daryl looked at Merle in a panic, Merle told him to calm down they had negatives and more photos to let the kid have it if he wanted to have it, Daryl followed him down the hall and found him in the bedroom Merle had set up for him. Ollie had  put the photo  on his dresser and was talking to her like she was in the room. He set up some toys around the photo and then moved onto different toys to play with.

It freaked Daryl out a little watching the little boy play a game with the photo, he didn't know if this was normal or not. He seemed to know quite a lot about Sophia, it could only have come from Carol. He was playing a game with the toy cars lining them all up around the photo knocking them into each other.

'Its not nice to stare,' he said not even turning his head towards Daryl. 'I don't like it, if you want to play you have to ask,' Ollie kept playing with toys and the photo. Stacking and building things around it. 

Daryl didn't know how to play, he'd never had toys as a kid, he didn't want to tell Ollie that, 'Maybe later, come find me if you want me, I'll just be in the lounge, ya Mama is sleeping,'

'Ok.........' Daryl left not before he heard Ollie talking to the photo as he walked down the hall, 'Our Daddy is very sad.......... he's my Daddy.......... '

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

Daryl expected some trouble from Social Services, he didn't expect them knocking on the door 2 hours after they arrived at home. He had Ollie sitting at the table eating, they arrived right on lunch time like they planned it. He guessed they had been coming every day for the past few days. Daryl and Ollie had been having lunch they were chatting about the toy cars he had, there were toys spread around the lounge and they had been building a train set. Ollie had been making himself at home. Daryl opened the door to a man and women. He looked at them.

'Can I help you?' he knew who they were they were wearing badges and had a clip folder, it didn't mean he had to open the door and welcome them in with open arms. He also hoped that Carol stayed asleep she was so stressed out about everything that he was sure she was going to sleep for hours. He was pleased he didn't have to deal with all her emotions when they arrived. It could have tipped her right over the edge especially after they run into Karen that morning. He still felt they needed to talk. Really talk then if she was willing see someone together maybe. Merle suggested it when he left. He told him he would be back again later. He removed all the packages of stuff that they been trying to make it look like that Ollie was welcome in his home.

'Hi we are from children's protective services,' the women said, 'we have had a complain about neglect towards Ollie Dixon? Is he on the premises?' she looked at him, expectantly, Daryl stared right back at them. He felt awkward and they felt awkward he could tell. He run his hair through his hair. 

'He's having lunch,'

They tried to look behind him, he knew they had rights to enter his house. He and Merle did a quick online search to see how they operated. So far they hadn't asked to come in, he just stood there waiting for them to say the next thing. He could stand there as long as they did. He was going to make them ask to come in. He wasn't going to swing the door open to let them come in.

'Can we see him, see his bedroom? Is your wife home?' The women asked then.

'She is, she's taking a nap right now, come in,' Daryl invited them in, Ollie saw them, his eyes narrowed he could tell right away that Daryl wasn't comfortable about them coming in so he raced across the room climbed up into Daryl's arms looking at them. He put his head on Daryls shoulder and hid his face from them, 'This is Ollie, as you can see he's fine,'

'We had complaints in a different state about he was homeless,' the women said. She looked around, she took the room in there were toys scattered everywhere, Merle had raced out and got reprints of photos of Ollie that were in Carol's bag, they had put them into frames and banged a few to the wall alongside Sophia's baby photo, Merle had brought over some of his kids drawings and put them on the fridge. He'd put out a few items of Carol's around the place, her jacket, some shoes by the door. He spread her stuff everywhere.

'We own our own home so how could Ollie be homeless?' Daryl asked. 'I own my own business with my brother, also my own Harley plus all the land the garage is on, and I have money in the bank,' Daryl told him, 'Ollie's my son how could he be homeless, there food in the fridge, he doesn't smell and has clothes and toys, what's the problem?'

The women and man looked confused. They looked at the report, Daryl went across with Ollie on his hip and pulled out bank statements that also still had Carol's name on them, they looked at the balance he pointed too, his files also had the deed to the house with their names on it, he pointed to the deed, he tossed a couple of his business statements. They looked shocked.  'Is that enough money to keep one child?' Daryl asked them. They were looking at Daryl and back to their file with the complaint. Ollie started sucking his thumb looking at them. Daryl walked across to the kitchen and flung the fridge open, pleased it had food and not take out containers which was normally in there to show them.

'Look, Ollie and Carol were away for a bit staying with her friend Tara, when her boss tried to sleep with her, when she said 'no' he's decided to make trumped up problems, Ollie's not homeless, and he's got his own room, food, and parents who love him,' Daryl was almost challenging them a little to try find something wrong with the home. They couldn't work it out. They walked to the other side of the room and whispered to each other. The man stepped outside for a moment to make a phone call. Daryl stood there looking at the women, she was trying to avoid his gaze. They knew they had stuffed up and there was nothing here to even look at. 

The women looked through their notes. She started ticking off everything.The house looked nice enough that even they would want to live there. The man bent down and pushed a train around the train track. He smiled up at Ollie looking at him hiding from him in Daryl's neck. Daryl could only hope he would spill any information that wasn't needed to go out to the people. Like he had only been in the house a few hours. 

'You have a nice home Ollie, do you like it?'

'We had a baby but she died,' Ollie told him, Daryl almost groaned, 'She's a Princess Angel now, and I'm getting a kitten! Today, we going to the shelter,' Daryl looked at him wondering how he was coming out with things like the shelter then he spoke again, 'Aunty Tara says you only get pets from the shelter cos they need homes,' Daryl nodded that he was right, he gave him a wink and Ollie nodded knowing it was time to stop talking. 

They looked shocked, Daryl gestured to the Sophia shelf to shocked to speak, of all the things Ollie could say, he talked about Sophia in one sentence and tried to force his hand into agreeing to something he wanted in the other. It didn't surprise him that he said he was getting a kitten he'd talked about it a few times now. Daryl was just hoping Ollie would keep his mouth shut.

'Before we had Ollie, she was 4 months,' Daryl could feel that familiar feelings coming up his throat as he tried to explain Ollies comments, 'She.................. she.................. she,' 

'Its ok Mr Dixon its in the notes,' The man said as they could see the tears forming in his eyes, 'If we could just see Ollies bedroom and we can go,'

 Daryl pointed down the hall and the door to his room was open, they looked in the bathroom as they passed and stuck their head in Ollie's room. The door was shut to the room with all the baby stuff still in it. Sophia's name was still on the door, he couldn't bear to bring it down. Merle had put Ollie's name on the door, they had also put things around so it looked lived in and not a show home. Daryl had given Ollie a pep talk on not telling anyone he just got his room today. He was worried that he would say something else and told him that if he didn't say anything else he would give him lollies, Ollie nodded and whispered in his ear, 'Tara give me lollies to keep quiet,

They nodded to him and said that they couldn't find a problem anywhere. He wanted them gone, before Carol woke and burst into tears. He got them out the front door and took their card. They told him they would ring later in the week. They were closing the case. They didn't muck around there was nothing to find here at all apart from a pack of liars.

'Can we get our kitty now?' Ollie asked as he watched the people going down the path. 

'Maybe after we finish lunch,'

Shortly after Merle arrived with his oldest to stop in to see how they were going. Merle brought his oldest because there was probably only about 3 or 4 months age difference in both the boys. They both were racing around outside playing in no time. Merle was surprised when Daryl suggested that he stay and play with Ollie for the afternoon and come choose a new kitten with them. Merle nodded surprised that Daryl wanted to spend time with his boy who he had avoided for so long. His wall was coming down, and Ollie was the reason.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for late update, school holidays are here. Fanfreakentastic.

'Hi, how are you feeling?' Daryl asked her. She come out of the hall looking like she was stunned and didn't really know what was going on. Sleeping so long then waking up feeling like you were still in a dream like state. The bags under her eyes were still there, around her eyes were really puffy, he wasn't about to point it out. She yawned again. Rubbed at her face. Her face was rumpled from a deep sleep but her eyes didn't look tearful or filled with tears. He imagined it was the first decent sleep she had had in a very long time.

'I'm good, I just got a little.................. overwhelmed........... coming here, thank you for taking care of Ollie,' Carol looked around, Daryl gave her a nod to say it was ok that she'd slept most of the day away. Ollie was eating dinner at the table with another little blonde boy who was starring at her. She blinked a few times because the boys were similar sizes and both had dirty blonde hair, both boys were clearly Dixon's. She gave a half gestured point towards him.

'Merle's................. Harley, say hello to your Aunty Carol,' Daryl told the little boy, he looked up under his dark lashes and had big blue eyes like Ollie, Dixon eyes, clones of their fathers. 'Merle's a idiot, told him not to call him that,'

'Dude!' Harley told her, Ollie laughed and fist bumped him. Both boys started giggling and bumping fists, Ollie stood up and gave him a hip bump also. Words like 'butts,' and 'Bums' started flying around the dinner table as Harley stood on the chair to copy Ollie. Daryl told them to sit down both little boys sat down and started talking about gross things that boys liked to talk about. She heard the word 'worms' being whispered back and forwards. The little boys clearly had become good friends and both were filthy with clean hands.

'You know Maggies going to kill you about that, he's been teaching him all sorts of tricks,' Daryl told her.

'Why are you looking after him?'

'I kinda got to thinking, I ain't never really spent much time with his kids................... and he had him with him when he come over before, I invited him to stay and play,' he did that awkward shuffle with his feet when he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing or not. She knew he was trying. She blinked again and could murder a cup of coffee right now. He couldn't believe she was standing in their living room and his son was sitting at the table with his nephew, if they told him this a week ago he would of denied it. 

'Does he know you?'

'Yeah, kinda, they come into the garage at the weekend. I buy them candy, give it to them, toys and shit, just ain't never really wanted to look at them,' Daryl moved way away from the boys so they couldn't hear him talk. Merle forced him to do a lot of things over the past few years. He couldn't bring himself to go to his house and baby sit but he could watch him for ten minutes without having a complete meltdown. Harley never really noticed he didn't understand that his Uncle didn't want to do those things because in front of the little boy he never let it show on his face. 'Merle would bring them to the garage and then come up with something like having to go to the bathroom or to the store and leave them with me so I had no choice,'

'Your brother is a good man,' He was, he clearly was a changed man, he was getting there when they lost Sophia never leaving and supporting everyone through everything. Helping organize payments for the funeral when Daryl couldn't. Talking to people at the door letting them know that Daryl and Carol were not up to visitors and most of all just quietly doing what needed to be done without being his usual arsehole self. 

Daryl just nodded and looked at the two boys, a little kitten come wandering out from the kitchen, it was black with white paws, another tabby one come chasing out behind him. Carol looked shocked to see them. She didn't know if Daryl already had them or what. She hadn't seen much of the house before she fell asleep from crying so much, she bent down to pet one of the little kittens. The other one come across to sniff her hand.

'Oh yeah, I got him a kitten,' Daryl told her, 'And Harley, got them both kittens but Harley's one has to stay here,' He glanced at her not knowing if she was going to be mad or not, she just kept petting the kittens who were rolling around  on the floor at her feet. He watched seeing the look on her face he knew he did the right thing. She didn't seem upset about it.

'How long was I asleep?'

'Bout 7 hours,' 

Carol stared at him, they arrived at the house around 10.30 in the morning and she looked at the clock and outside, he wasn't joking, she had slept all day. She looked embarrassed that she'd slept that  long. He just looked at her and shrugged, she needed it. He was ok with the boys, they needed a bath but they had been making mud pies outside. They had taken some pots and pans outside to dig in the dirt. He had been amazed at how they could play without needing him. He told them not to go out the gate and pottered away doing odd jobs outside keeping an eye on them.

The laughter and giggles had warmed his heart. He didn't know that  he would grow so attached so quickly with Ollie, also he didn't realize he was attached to Harley, when he cut his finger and cried he had had no problems picking him up cuddling him. He'd gone and put a plaster on it. Kissed him even. He never ever kissed the kid ever. Harley had wrapped his arms around his neck giving him a cuddle as they come back out to the  lounge both boys wanted to ride his back at the same time. He'd let them. He let them climb all over him mucking around on the lounge floor building trains. He'd loved it.

'You let me sleep all day? All day?'

'Figured you would need it, you been under a lot of stress,' he told her, 'They been good, happy, and the laughter,'

'And you got Ollie a kitten? And your nephew? Where did you get kittens from,'

'The shelter,'

'Does any of this seem odd to you?' Carol asked him, 'You went got them kittens?'

'No..................... also Social Services come by,' Daryl told her, 'He told them we were going to get kittens so............ we had to go get kittens incase they come back,'

'What?'

'they looked around, and we are sweet they won't be back,'

'Are you kidding me right now? They came and you let me sleep through, what if.................... what if they took him,' Carol looked like she was going to burst over again, Daryl didn't want her upsetting the boys, he took a chance and wrapped his arms around her. He rocked a little he didn't know if it was wanted or not but she sagged in his arms as she accepted it. He stroked her back a his hands going up under her shirt stroking her skin to sooth her. She had her hands in a similar place to try calm herself. They stood that way for a long time until they were interrupted. 

'Well well well, I was going to ask how you were all getting on, I can see we are back to old tricks. Please don't make out in front of my child,' Maggie had opened the door and walked in she caught them with their arms around each other. Carol untangled herself from Daryl to swap to hug her. She couldn't believe that she was hugging Maggie, she'd missed her so much, she couldn't help the tears fall.

'Its all just overwhelming, and he got him kittens,' Carol mumbled into her hair. 'Social services have come and Daryl talked to them now they won't come back again,'

'With the way you two were holding each other he's lucky he's not getting something else,' Maggie teased her friend slipping back into it like nothing had changed, a flash of guilt crossed her face, 'God I'm sorry,'

'Its ok,' Carol told her, knowing she was teasing her about Daryl getting her pregnant and then she remembered, she become embarrassed. ' ummmmmmmmmm coffee?'

'No, I've got kids in the car with Merle still I just come to say hi,' Maggie squeezed her hands again and leaned in to hug her. Holding her friend tight. 'Maybe in a few days, Merle will watch the baby?'

'Bring them in, they can come in??......................... Daryl?' Carol looked around at him, he gave a half nod, he waiting for that feeling of dread of them bringing their baby girl in and it didn't happen. He actually wanted to see her. He had Ollie in his arms and he felt a little at peace, if Carol wanted to see the baby he was fine with them all coming in for the first time in 4 years, he went outside to invite his brother and his family inside his house. 

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if I got this the way I wanted to. I want Maggie and Carol conversation to go that Carol could have whatever she wanted. There were no rules to what she had to have because people might look at her funny.

'I;m so sorry we couldn't find you anywhere,' Maggie sat beside Carol on the old porch swing they were rocking it with their feet, watching the small boys run about. Daryl and Merle were mucking around with the lawn mower, 'I told Merle not to tell him, he didn't really remember, I just thought we could deal with it when you come back.............. he was so heartbroken it was devastating to see, and when we had Harley us being so happy made him so heart broken,'

'Its not your fault, he wouldn't talk to me and got wasted all the time,'

'Remember the Dixon brothers are not good at ' _Feelings'_ their childhood, no excuses but .................... Merle, when I told him I was pregnant went on a bender, he could have cheated if I didn't pull his sorry arse out of the pub, he felt so bad leaving that skank here watching him while he went to pick you up, he was rotten drunk`I'm trying not to force your hand here but................ sober Daryl wouldn't have cheated, how do we know what happened, do we even know he stuck it in there? Being that wasted.............. Merle wouldn't be able to get it up, could Daryl?'

'I don't know.................. I just don't anymore, watching him like this now with Ollie, he talked to child services, he got him a kitten, I just don't know,' Carol petted the two sleeping little kittens in her lap looked at the men then the little boys who had come over to watch what they were doing. Merle was holding the toddler and rubbing his back while talking to Ollie, 'I just never thought ..................... I don't know, I've got all theses feelings I'm trying to block off............. my heart is sore from stopping them.................' she rocked the swing a little, 'I just don't want Ollie to be a only child being raised in a house where his parents don't love each other,'

'It doesn't have to be that way,' Maggie lifted the baby to rub her back so she could burp, 'There are no rules here, no one else knows apart from us, and your friend Tara, you ............. if you want to can have more babies, you can have whatever you want...................... if you want him back you can have him back, if you don't he can move out, you can move on and find someone else...................... '

'I don't want anyone else,' Carol whispered, 'but how can I take him back after what he did to me?'

'I don't know, you know I hated him for a long time for what he did to you,' Maggie told her, 'Then one day I just stopped hating him, I decided to help him instead, I could find you, so I helped you by helping him,'

'How did you stop hating him for what he did?'

'Well I felt a lot better after a gave her a beat down, got arrested and fucked her boyfriend in the backseat of his car,' Maggie told her, Carol laughed she shouldn't but she did, Maggie Greene was a force to be reckoned with when she was mad. No wonder she tamed wild Merle Dixon. He was so sweet with his kids and Maggie, he still had a bad ass look about him but with his kids, with Maggie it was nothing but love. Her gaze drifted over to Daryl and he was trying to show Ollie how to put things on the lawn mower, he would make a good dad, he was a good husband before, he was a great lover the only one she ever had. 'I don't think he had sex with her, I just don't I think that they were in bed, Merle said he left his naked arse in bed, I just don't think he was aware of what was happening or had sex.'

'We will never know,'

'No but............. you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't think there was a chance? Or a way of working it out, until us the Dixon brothers never knew love, settled their problems with booze and their fist,' Maggie said, 'look, you telling me that's a man who doesn't want a family................. ' they looked and Daryl was holding his arms out for Ollie to come hug him, he got double barreled by Harley and Ollie and got knocked over his feet and onto his back, both boys climbed over him, Merle put the toddler down so he could jump on Daryl too. The 3 boys were giggling like mad, 'That man was too scared to come over the door step of my house when Phoebe was born, he showed up with a basket of gifts for her, really thought out gifts he must have been buying since we found out it was a girl, we wanted him to have a chance to know before she got here, so two weeks ago he shows up and knocked on the door, then run down the path, today he's rolling around the dirty ground with 3 kids on him,'

'He brought presents?'

'To much, way to much, but he couldn't bring himself to be near her, then the night he wanted the car he come running into the house, because of you guys,' Maggie told her, 'I'm just saying................ if you want him he's your's, but you need to be the one to decide, no one can say you can't have him because................ some one in society said you couldn't, if you want more babies you can have them, go to couples counselling, or something,'I want more children, I wanted a house full of laughter,'

'You need to be ready for a house of mess, a lot of mess, no sex and late nights, tiredness, cranky husbands who are not getting sex because their wives have boobs the size of cannon balls and feel like a hot mess,'

'Well when you put it like that,' Carol smiled, 'You really think I can?'

'Can?'

'Just have what I want?'

'Depends on what you want? What do you want?'

'Daryl to be a good Dad, more children eventually, to stop waking every day and feel like my heart is breaking over and over,' Carol whispered, Maggies chin dimpled as her lips tried to stop her eyes from welling up with tears, they spilt over and down her face, she nodded, swallowing hard as her throat burnt. 'For love, him to love Ollie as much as he loved Sophia?'

'Ok.................. shit, I'm gone,' Maggie was crying, an ugly cry, she leaned over and hugged Carol, 'I'm sorry you lost Sophia, now I'm a Mama.............. I didn't know back then how bad it was, how you were both falling apart, if I should have driven you all the way home instead of letting you take the bus...............'

Carol's dam broke again and they were both crying on the swing, the men looked up at them. Merle shook his head, 'They need to,' was all he said to Daryl. Daryl looked at the boys and wondered if they should bath them or put them in the shower or something. He suggested it to Merle and he just nodded. He called them with him to go into the bathroom. He didn't know what he was doing but they took their clothes off. He threw the muddy clothes into the bath, got the little ones to check the water and told them to get in. He squirted some shower gel in their general direction and a couple of wash clothes. He went to find a better adult than him who knew more about washing kids. He met Maggie in the hall. She gave him a hug.

'Thank you for bringing her back,' Maggie told him.

'I don't know what I'm doing or what is going on,'

'You guys make the rules ok,'

 'What does that even mean?'

'Daryl.................... do you think you even had sex with her?' Maggie asked him, flashes of the night come into his head, he didn't know really if it was full blown sex, he remembered touching her. She was touching him. Then Carol was there screaming.

'I don't know,'

'Get the boys some pj's out of the top drawer, they the same size they can share clothes,' Maggie told him, he went off to do as he was told, she went into the bathroom to see the boys had tipped out the rest of the shower gel Daryl had stupidly left in easy reach. He had a lot of learning to do. Especially now Ollie was in the house. Daryl come back and put the clothes over the shower rail. He groaned when he saw the bubbles and his empty shower gel container. The boys just laughed when he growled them.

'Good times, thanks for opening up to our kids,' Maggie told him.

'I'm trying......................... '


	12. Chapter 12

 Carol held Maggie's new born daughter, 3 weeks old. She sniffed and drank in her new baby smell. Carol loved that new baby smell. Carol was opening up the blanket and looking at the tiny toes, tiny fingers. Phoebe was sound asleep she didn't realize she was causing such a stir within the Dixon house hold. The first girl since they all lost little Sophia, Phoebe had some of the Dixon looks but definitely favored her mother. Carol stroked her finger across her cheek, she didn't feel sad holding the little girl or any regret, she dealt with those rushes of overwhelming feelings towards babies when they handed her Ollie. She could truly appreciate the little baby for who she was. 

Daryl observed from the other side of the room. He'd talked a big game but the pink bundle coming into the house made him feel it in his heart a little. It hurt it really was hurting him. He hadn't dealt with his feelings like Carol. He just put them away in a locked box way at the back. He didn't know how to deal with theses feeling and for the first time in a long time he wished he kept booze in the house. Watching Carol unwrapped the blanket to show Ollie the tiny baby, he gave it a poke and looked at it nearly did him in.

'Her name is Phoebe,' Carol told him, mildly aware he might ask if it was Sophia. 

'Phoebe, hi Phoebe, does she want to come play in my room?' Ollie asked Carol. He held his hands out to take the baby, Carol guided him into the seat so he could take a turn to sit and hold the tiny baby. Carol showed him how to hold her so he wouldn't hurt her at all. She couldn't help but smile at his excited face as he held a baby for the first time.

'No, she's too little when she's bigger she might,' Ollie lost interest and moved away after a bit of a look. She caught Daryl's eye, she flashed him a look for him to come sit beside her to look at the baby. He shook his head he ducked back down the hall to see what Ollie was doing, he saw he was happy playing with Harley and Maggie was in the room with them. He come back to the lounge, leaned against the wall just inside the door, Carol indicated the seat beside her again, he shook his head and she nodded, he edged his his way towards her slowly before finally sitting in the seat beside her looking at the baby.

'You want to hold her?' she whispered quietly, he shook his head, he did reach out and touch her hand though.

Merle was helping their toddler with some dinner at the table. He was taking sneaky peeks at his brother. He saw them holding the little girl. He didn't want to intrude on this big moment of Daryl's a little break through.  Carol leaned into Daryl a little or Daryl leaned into Carol he couldn't be sure but they were both connected whispering to each other about the baby. Carol made him hold her, giving him no choice she put the baby in his arms, he held her instinctively.

'I miss her every day,' Carol told him.

'I........... I know,'

'I'ma sorry, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you....................... No excuses but................... I never dealt with that sort of emotions before or never been .................. I wouldn't have cheated on ya if ................ I was out of my mind I don't even know ................... I didn't even remember I did it,'

'I know..................... I know that now,' Carol leaned over and kissed the tiny baby's head. Daryl turned her in his arms and brought her up close to his face to really look at her. He sniffed her, put her over his shoulders. Carol felt the couch begin to shake as his walls broke down and he was crying silent tears. His body betrayed him as he went through a whole grieving process of crying. She put her arm around him, eventually his tears steamed. He handed the baby back so he could wipe his face, he looked like he was about to run from her. She put her hand on his arm to keep him there.

'Can we try be a proper family for Ollie?' Daryl whispered his voice was catchy, She could tell he'd been thinking about it for days, the way he looked at Ollie and her.

'I don't know................... maybe................ I can't think of that right now,' Carol glanced at him, she saw the regret in his eyes. She also saw love in his eyes and she didn't know what to do. How hard she'd tired to forget he'd done it. Would she always be worried that he would cheat on her again. She wasn't making any decisions tonight she knew that for sure. Tonight she was just going to enjoy catching up with her family again. 'I'd like to ............. get to know you again, have that as an option on the table................. that would be nice,'

'You for real?'

'Yes, I don't want Ollie to be a only child, so I'd like to try for another baby,' Carol had made the decision for another baby the moment he had her hands on Phoebe, she'd always wanted a large family. She had listened to Maggie, she could make her own decisions for her, for Ollie. She didn't need to worry about what anyone else thought about it. She didn't want an even larger gap between Ollie and a sibling. She knew she was making decisions based on decision's she wanted. She didn't know if Daryl wanted more children or not. They both had wanted a larger family 4 or more but now it was just Ollie. 'I'd like to start trying for a baby but.................. I'm not ready to go into a full on marriage with you again, or .................... I don't know Daryl if I'm ready to go back to the way it was, but .......................'

Daryl looked at her wondering if she was for real. She wanted to start trying for another baby and she didn't want to get tied up with him so fast. Did she want him to leave sperm on the kitchen bench or something? He wasn't sure. He knew they both needed to relax, put Ollie to bed and talk. His mind was going haywire, did she want to date him and not live with him but have his kids? He had too many questions about everything.

'You want to start tonight? Are you for real?'

'well maybe not tonight, though I might be .................. you know, I've been thinking about it for years about having more, I really want it, I just not sure if ................... I want to go back to the way we were, I don't know if we can yet,'

Much later that night after they put Ollie to bed, Merle and Maggie along with their family were gone they were sitting on the couch one at each end facing each other looking at each other.  Studying each other, Carol took a sip of her drink, Daryl had run out for a couple of bottles of wine that she suggested they needed to loosen up a little. They were both really stressed and she thought it might help loosen their tongues a little. She hadn't really drunk more than half a glass of wine since she had Ollie and Daryl had been staying clear of the stuff since Carol left. He'd had the odd beer when he was playing pool with the guys at the bar. 

'I know I keep saying it but ............. I never would have hurt you for the world,' 

'Daryl you need to stop, we need to put that over there for now,' Carol told him, 'right now we need to talk about our wants and dreams or whatever,'

'I want Ollie,'

'Just Ollie?'

'If that's all I'm allowed I want to be a good Dad,' he looked around shuffling his feet a little, he looked at her out the corner of his eye, 'I want you,'

'I want you to be Ollies Dad, you were never a bad Dad Daryl, you did a really bad thing, but not to Sophia, what happened to Soph wasn't your fault what happened after and how you dealt with the grief was yours,'

'I don't know I feel like if you can't forgive me we can never move on.................................... I'm also...................... I........... don't know if I can forgive................. myself,' tears brimmed his eyes, he wiped them and took a sip of his wine. He stood up and paced around the room a few laps before sitting back down again. 'I don't know if I can .............. you know.............. ever forgive myself, what the fuck was I thinking. Why did I do that, I can see flashes of it since this morning but................... why? Why would i even go with that...............'

'Ok I think we going way off topic, I think we need help with that part, see someone, but the other part, being a family?'

'I never stopped loving you,'

Carol sighed, he was saying everything she was thinking, she'd never stopped loving him, she'd tried. She took another sip. Looking at him. 'Maggie says we can do whatever we want, we are adults so........................... what I want is ................. I want a family, I want more kids, I don't want to go out looking for someone to be a father to my kids when I have a pretty good one in front of me that I like. I want that, there's a but though,'

'What?'

'I don't know if ........... I can just move back in with you again. I want you to move out, I want to do this slowly, deal with everything properly so we don't make a huge mistake,'

'So you want me to have sex with you, get you pregnant but you want me to move out and not be your husband anymore?'

'I want to try? Get to know each other, but I want a baby now, I mean we know we are going to end up together again right so.................... we can get started on the baby making at some stage,'

'Are you drunk right now?' he eyed the empty bottle of wine, wondering when they actually drunk it.

'Kinda, I guess, not drunk enough to know I want to do this,' She leaned in and kissed him full on his lips. She kept them there, he was stunned and kissed her back, he half pulled her onto him onto his lap. His hands stroking up and down her back kissing her again. It was a hungry kiss, filled with desperation that they both needed. They backed away from each other looking at each other.

'Are you sure you want to do this?' Daryl asked her.

'Pretty sure, pretty sure I want to keep kissing,' Carol kissed him again, trying to put everything else from her mind that were crashing into her thoughts and just concentrating on kissing. Kissing was good, it was relaxing both of them. Both of them keeping their hands and arms around each other holding on tight to the one person who got them. The other person who understood. 


	13. Chapter 13

He had kissed the life out of her on the couch that they both were surprised in the intensity of their touch. One thing led to another and when Daryl stood up and moved about locking the house up with Carol wrapped around him kissing his neck she didn't ask him to put her down or put her into the spare bedroom. He had no idea how far they were taking it it was really intense and they both couldn't stop touching each other. Her legs wrapped around him. If he could keep her there forever he would. His mouth moved to her neck as he half slammed into the front door as as he tried to lock it.

She wasn't letting go, her hold was desprate they crashed into the wall turning off a light. He fumbled for the handle to the hall so they could make their way out of the lounge and he was thankful they left the light on down there. He used the wall to support her. Her fingers tugged his shirt from his pants and her hands went up under his shirt. He slipped one hand into the back of her underwear tracing her crack. He moved again because he didn't want to drop her. 

 He put her to her feet and pushed up against her as he shut the bathroom door behind them. He stepped back a little, adjusted his pants while looking at her. She was breathing heavily, her nipples were visible through her tee shirt, he'd undone her bra on the couch and now they were just heavy breathing looking at each other trying to figure out where to go from here. He didn't know if they were both on the same page, would having sex make things worse or better he didn't know, she didn't know but it seemed like a fine idea right in that moment.

'You ummmmmmmmm, I mean, I'm gonna take a shower,' he told her.

His eyes were thick with lust and she knew he was giving her the chance to back out gracefully if she wanted too. Giving her the choice to join him or to go. The straining in his jean's showed her he was extremely turned on, it was taking all his effort to back away to give her space for what she needed. Carol looked him over, to the side dips that went down into his jeans because his shirt was half off because of her. She wanted to see what was going on below his jeans, she needed to clear her head for a minute.

She just nodded panting a little her head was a little giddy with the wine and with the kissing. He pulled his shirt off and she looked him over, still muscly, tan, he reached in to turn the shower on. She stayed leaned up against the bathroom door scared to move incase the feeling in her legs wouldn't come back. She studied him as he dropped his pants and underwear, she saw his straining dick dripping as he stepped into the shower, he begin to wash himself, she took a breath and pushed herself off the bathroom door.

She needed to use the toilet. She went through the door to the toilet when she come back Daryl had his back to her, one arm propped against the wall like he was steadying himself. With his other hand he was washing under his arms and down the smattering of chest hair towards his dick, she watched his hands move over his body, she wanted to touch him again.

She continued to watch him through the glass shower door. She had two choices. To get inside with him or to go to the spare room. The throbbing between her legs wouldn't let her go past the shower. What the hell was she doing, she could couldn't help it she wanted him so bad. She wanted him inside her to help fill the void she'd been missing for the past 4 years. She decided to follow her heart and not her brain by taking off her clothes and stepping into the shower.

Their bodies had made some changes, Carol's from a second child birth and Daryl had lost a great deal of weight but replaced it with hard muscle. She couldn't help but run her hands down his muscles, down his flat stomach. He couldn't believe he was in the shower with Carol and she was touching him, stoking his chest. He kissed her neck and listened to her sigh a little.

They were both desperate, things happened really fast. Touching and stroking each other. He run his hand down her back cupping her arse. He pulled her to him. He was hard as a rock, she touched him stroking his cock. He moaned into her neck. Backing her to the back wall of the shower. He stroked down her breast, stroking right down to her slit. He run his finger around her clit. He listened to her moan, she moan embarrassing loud. He smiled at that.

He bent his head and run his tongue around her nipple looking up at her making sure she was still having a good time with him and she wasn't having second thoughts. She was running her fingers through his hair. She looked like she was having a really good time, he slipped to his knees and his mouth followed his fingers. He latched onto her clit suckling on it running his tongue around her nub. Carol made a really loud groan. She gripped his hair trying to keep him with her.

'You need to get up here,' she moaned grabbing at him so he would move up to kiss him again. He crushed into her again kissing her deeply. She scratched her nails down his back. He groaned, she was leaving her mark on him, he kissed her neck and she clung to him deeply. There was no gap between them as they both clung to each other and swayed against each others bodies. It was a first time of grasping desprate almost like it was the first time, their grief and emotions all over spilled into touch. Grabbing at each other.

'Are you ok?'

'Its good,' she whispered, moaning again as he slipped a finger inside her, he lifted her leg up over his hip and lined himself up pushing himself inside her. She grabbed his shoulders moving with him groaning and he grabbed her arse. Pulling her tight to him hard. She was trying to climb him.  Hooking both her arms over his shoulders and tried to get herself into a position that she wanted too. She loved having her leg wrapped around his waist while he was driving into her. He took the hint and lifted her so both her legs were off the ground. She was moaning against his neck, biting down on his neck. 

Water was pouring over him and her as he moved inside her. She was gripping onto him like he was the was going to disappear on her. She hadn't felt this intense about anything in a long time, his eyes were on hers as he moved in and out of her slowly. They both knew that this was it, she'd forgiven him and he was in love with her. It was the turning point and they both felt it. It was overwhelming she couldn't hold his gaze without getting a lump in her throat. He was moving slow holding onto her, he lowered her down to one leg, keeping the other leg over his hip and reached between her legs to rub her clit. 

She couldn't hold on, hold onto him or hold onto her rush of feelings that exploded. She come hard around him, he kept pumping inside her, his own orgasm blowing as she was coming down from hers. He bowed his head onto her chest. He was shattered, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. She was clinging to him, he could tell she was crying, he took her chin and tilted her chin around to kiss her.

'You ok?' 

 'Yes,'

'We are going to be ok, please ...................... you're not crying because we just made love?' Daryl was worried.

'No,'

'Why are you crying then?'

'Because ..................... because ........... I just realized I still love you, and ............. I'm still not sure how to fix this,' she whispered.

'You don't gotta fix nothing, I love you, always have........................ always will,' he pulled her holding her to him, they didn't know what the hell to do now except get out get dried and try get some sleep to think and talk some more in the morning.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its late I know school holidays.

Carol woke up and looked at the clock, she'd slept really late, it was past 9. She sat up straight looking around. The bed was a mess and she was sore between her legs from the love making the night before. She moaned a little as she rolled off the bed. She felt a tell tail twinge that let her know that she needed to treat her vagina with a little more respect today. She didn't know if it was complaining because of over use or it had been neglected for so long.

She walked slowly around the room. She pulled on some track pants of Daryls and a tee shirt. Stretching she pulled open the curtains and looked out the back lawn, it was neglected, she could see they were going to have to look at fencing at some stage and a play house, sandpit her mind went over board at all the things she could have for Ollie. He was going to have things that he hadn't had before, she was getting excited for what they could do out there. She was thinking she could have her own project. She stretched again then she went looking for the boys.

The house was completely empty. No one was about. She had a quick panic but then she saw a note on the kitchen table. She bent down to pick it up to read.

_Had to go to work, I've got Ollie, come when you're ready, you will have to walk_

He took him to the garage, Carol walked over to make the call to make sure everything was ok. Daryl answered the phone telling her everything was fine. Ollie was fine, and eating a apple, and having a drink. He told her that he would be fine there with him for a little while longer.

'Why didn't you wake me up?'

'You looked really tired,' Daryl told her, 'Besides, Ollie wanted to come to work when I went to wake you. He didn't want to stay home he wanted to come see where the garage was.'

'You will keep him safe?'

'Of course, he's with Merle right now, he's got him polishing hub caps............................. how are you?'

'Not bad,'

'How are  _you?'_

'No regrets except.................'

'What?' he sounded worried.

'I might need a ice pack or something,'

'You want me to hold it in place?'

'Nope, I'm going to take a bath then I will come down,'

'I can leave Ollie with Merle,'

'No................ no, I think we need to actually talk before we do that again, ring marriage counselling.................... if you still want to do it,'

'I want to............. when ever you can get one just let me know,'

They rung off, Carol looked in the fridge for food come out eating while walking around poking in and about at the bills that were stacked on the side by the phone, she poked through to see if there was anything alarming. She saw power, phone, water, a donation recipe to the red nose foundation. That one wasn't expected. It was made from the business, a large one. Both Daryl and Merle must have agreed to it other wise it wouldn't be in their name.

She read the letter that come with the receipt thanking them for their donation, giving the states of babies dying suddenly. She knew the stats she knew everything she could about it. She put the letter down then went through to the lounge to look at the baby photos around the little urn. She picked it up off the shelf and run her finger around the curves. Carol noticed it was sparkling, the shelf was dusted and well loved. There was more things added to it. She went up on tippee toes and saw 5 tiny gift wrapped gifts right at the back.

She put the urn in the middle of the coffee table so she wouldn't knock it over then she turned back and she picked one up, looked at it and looked at the tag. It was small almost like a jewelry box. Carol turned it over and over in her hand, she could tell he wrapped it, brought it.............. what was in the tiny boxes, she looked at the tag again.

_'We love you, miss you, love Mummy & Daddy,'_

She grabbed the other 5 gifts looking at them, the gift wrapping got better and better, she assumed they might be birthday gifts or anniversary gifts. The anniversary was a hard day, really hard, could barely get out of bed days. She gave each one a shake to test its weight, noise, she wanted to open them to see what it was. She put them back in the order he'd had them. 

What had he been collecting, or buying for her, she didn't know. She was going to ask him, her heart felt a little heavy. She put the urn back, run a finger across a baby picture then she looked along at the CD rack pulling out an old faithful friend, putting it in the CD play taking out the rock CD that Daryl had in there. Quickly the house was filled with pop music, Daryl hated this type of music but let her play it when ever because it made her happy, as she usually moved around the house bouncing to the beat.

She found the phone book and looked through finally deciding on someone to ring who could help them with their marriage if they were going to be together. Try being a couple. She did think they needed some time apart, time to get her head under control. She made the call and managed to grab a cancellation for 3pm that afternoon, she would let him know when she walked the few blocks to the garage to pick up Ollie.

She made another call to Maggie asking her to keep Ollie for them while they went. She'd said that would be fine. The boys would play together it would be fine, Ollie would be fine and they were happy to keep him for dinner if she and Daryl wanted to go out for a bite to eat after. Carol wandered through to the bathroom. Filling the bath while talking with Maggie. She rung off.

She lay back in the bath, phone kept out of the water and she made another phone call holding the phone and awkwardly holding it, trying to dial the numbers she knew off by heart. She put the phone to her ear and waited for an answer.

'Hello............... yes its me............................ I'm in the bath..................... no alone, geeze,' Carol smiled and listened to Tara chatting away into the phone telling her she didn't have many more classes left and she was moving down near them, she missed Ollie, she was looking to find a job. Carol grin got wider and wider as Tara launched into the drama that unfolded when they realized that Carol and Ollie no longer were in the state. Tara knew she wouldn't get a job anywhere so she was coming whether they wanted her there or not. She would pitch a tent in the back yard if she had too. Tara told her that was fine they had a spare room. She picked up on the spare room which should be Carols.

'We are working it out,' Carol said into the phone, she looked up seeing the man she was talking about come around the bathroom door and trail his eyes down her body, 'I have to go, I've got a pervert come to watch me wash.' Tara told her she would see her soon. Carol had no doubts she would be coming and everyone in town would know she was there because Tara made friends everywhere.

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

Carol had been crying at the Councillors office and now she was just mad at Daryl, he was looking everywhere else in the small restaurant except at her because he didn't know what to say. Counselling had been hard for both of them, she was trying to keep it together, in the end he just asked for their food to go. He took her hand and the food containers, they took the food home to eat so if she burst into tears again they wouldn't have people looking at them.

She was so confused about him. Going to someone helped clear her mind on where she wanted to end up, it was going to be a bumpy ride home, she wanted to be his home. It was hard for her she felt like she had to put more behind her than he did. 

He wanted them, the counselor agreed with the separation that Carol still wanted, then slowly get back together. Daryl already had a plumber working on the apartment above the garage. He just needed a bed, tv, fridge and a few odds and ends. He felt like he was being banished. He told her that this afternoon. She just wasn't ready for him to be in her face 24/7 she needed time alone. 

They sorted out a roster of sorts, date nights and nights for him to come over to be a family with them. He was allowed to stay over if he wanted too. Carol just wanted a break from him right now. She was going to sleep alone until they got into a routine.

She was barely eating looking around the room finally he looked at her. 'Alright, give it too me both barrels, it might make you feel better,'

She glanced up at him, she didn't want to because once she said the words she could never take them back, she wanted to, she wanted to scream them at him. Tell him that he broke his vow to her, to their daughter, because he couldn't handle the grief, she couldn't handle the grief but she never ever stopped thinking about him during that time. She never lost control or forgot about him. She wanted to tell him, hurt him in the same way he hurt her, she could never ever do that to him

'I want a divorce!' she told him, she wanted that bit of marriage paper gone, because it was really worth nothing to her. He was her husband but she didn't want that marriage. 'and I think we should sell, buy somewhere else.................... this place............... has too many memories,'

'OK....................... why?'

'Because I don't want to live here, where you................... you know, I want to make new memories,'

'What about...........' his gaze glanced at the shelf.

'They are in here,' she made a circling motion around her heart, 'But Ollie deserves his own place, where we can make new memories, I know you don't want to leave here because of ...................it was Sophia's home, but it was not is..................... I don't want to try restart our relationship somewhere where ............... you did that. I am open to being remarried though, but I want to really really start again.'

He just looked at her.

'Its not like we are going to leave her behind, but I think if we want to start again, he was right, we need a whole fresh start, go back to basic's, get to know each other again, fall in love head over heel's the pounding of the chest in anticipation that we are going to see each other. I think he's right we don't want to resent each other. This is what I want,'

'A divorce though?'

'Everything............ and start again,'

'So you would be single? Not married, dating other people?'

'No I would be single, dating, just one person...................... I think it would be good for both of us, for Ollie to spend time together and apart,' She watched his face, 'I don't want to cry anymore, I just need my space and I need time to figure out where I fit into this............... its been just me and Ollie for such a long time now............. its just............ we deserve to spend the time, make a effort instead of just coming home and having ............. you know, we need to make sure its what we both want, for real,'

 'I'm so confused,'

'I just don't want to live here, the memories are not all good,' Carol told him. 'That's all, I want us to date, hang out, who knows, I want children a house full, but I also want to be sure I want you back 100% everyday. If you are living somewhere else it will make it easier for me to think it through, become me again, but if you want to stay here............. I guess Ollie and I can find something, I just don't want to live here, I'm 100% sure about that,'

'Ok, Ok, I'll ring the real estate agent tomorrow, we will list it, do you know what you want or where you want to go?'

'I don't know, a big house, with a yard, lots of room,' Carol told him.

'There's a place for Sale near Merles, when we go pick up Ollie I'll show you,' He told her.'Its big, I think it has 8 bedrooms, its like massive, no one ever brought it for ages because of its size, its like a farm house with a wrap around porch, its got about 6 bedroom's upstairs and 2 down, or you could use it as an office or something,' 

'Wow that's huge, I don't think I want to fill 8 bedrooms, but lets look. Where do they live? Merle and Maggie?' Carol wasn't sure where they lived. She didn't ask. She trusted Merle to take Ollie to Maggie to look after him.

'They have a bit of land just on the outskirts , some fruit trees and some cows,' Daryl told her, he reached out and held her hand for a minute, they both ate one handed. Carol was looking over at the shelf.

'What's in the little wrapped gifts?' she asked him.

'Just something................. for her,' he told him, 'Nothing really,' he wasn't ready to tell her, her aniversary was coming up he would tell her or show her then. 'you finished, we should get going,' Carol finished as much as she could and followed him out of the house to get Ollie and to drive by a house.

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

'I get it,' Daryl took her hand walking into the big house, they were following the real estate women up the path onto the wrap around porch into the house, 'You want to start fresh, with happy memories,'

'I've got happy memories just about all my memories are happy, I just need to ................. I think we both need to start again, get to know each other again,' Carol squeezed his hand back, he actually spent a long time lying awake thinking about what had been said, what  she had said. He understood, he did something and she wanted to forget it. She wanted him that was clear, she was trying to work it all out so they could start fresh. She had a smile ten foot wide looking at the big wrap around porch with the porch swing. 'I'm just not the same person I was 5 years ago, and you are not the same guy you were, we can't just hold hands and jump off a cliff and hope for the best, we need to find a path to go down to get to the bottom, holding hands together, its not a bad thing, please don't think its a bad thing..................... its not a bad thing that I want to fall head over heels again,'

'But can we just pretend we got a divorce?' Daryl pulled her hand back to him, 'Please, just I don't want to, it kept me up all night worrying about it,' he started chewing on his lip a little, she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, she nodded.

'Ok, its ok, we don't need to................. I just want to .................. Daryl we need to.............' she leaned in to kiss his lips again, 'I just need time to ................ I just don't want to............ make any mistakes, and I think we both need to take some time to address any feelings before we live together full time because I don't want to fight, I don't want to fight at all, I want to get back what we had, and I know you................. we both need to spend one on one time together................. not in bed but talking and playing together,'

'You know me?' he wrapped his arms around her, she snuggled in, she did know him. She worked it out way before he did that they needed to take a huge step back and date. Get to know each other again. Daryl looked across the yard at Ollie swinging in the tyre swing that was there, it was a huge old oak tree that offered plenty of shade, an outside BBQ area was nearby. 'That rope needs replacing,' Daryl muttered and he called Ollie off the swing, the little boy come running full blast towards them. They had been beginning to establish a bond, Ollie loved the fact he had a Daddy, Daryl was still coming to grips with the fact he was a father again.

'Its not just about what I want though, what do you want too,' she took his hand again, they stepped into the house looking around. 'I want laughter and love, you and my family,' he squeezed her hand that he wanted those things too, he did want everything, everything she wanted. She'd been thinking about it for a long time. He never even thought he would ever get her back again. Only in his dreams did they ever get back together. 

They were both in shocked to why this place was empty, it was amazing. They both looked up to the huge stair case, Ollie was running upstairs two steps at a time, they both turned towards the real estate agent trying to not seem keen on the whole house, it felt warm and inviting. It seemed really happy, also it was about 100yards from Merle and Andrea's, Daryl wasn't really sure but he was pretty sure they might even back onto each other.

They stole sneaky glances at each other as they were shown the top floor, Carol was almost giddy with how much she liked the place, Daryl was trying to keep a poker face because of the fact that they didn't want to give too much away. 6 massive bedrooms upstairs each with an amazing view out, they couldn't help but want to move in right now. She took them down stairs to show them around. The only thing the place didn't have going for it was the one small bathroom. It was tiny, but they both looked at each other when they saw it knowing that they could always fix that and make another bathroom.

'So you said there was 2 rooms down stairs?' Daryl asked the lady.

'Well its kinda like that, its actually........ I guess you could call it a self contained apartment out the back, it used to be a vet's place, he used it as his rooms,' She showed him the way through the kitchen, they looked around the massive farm style kitchen, with its huge opening doors to a little outside eating garden that was also inclusive of the BBQ area, she walked a different way to what Carol had assumed was the laundry. 'It has its own entrance but they connect through the laundry,'

She opened the door to revel a large laundry with another door opening to the small apartment, 'Their daughter lived here for a while, its got a new bathroom, bedroom, the other room which was the consult room could be a office or something, and its own lounge, they share the laundry,'

'Why are they selling?' Carol asked, she'd seen enough, she wanted to get a builder here to check it all out.

'They are in a retirement home now, they are in their 80's the stairs got to to much, they raised 7 children here, by all accounts they were the only owners,' she told Carol.

'Can we look around on our own for a bit?' Daryl asked her, she nodded and told them she would be out by her car making some calls.

'Sooooooooo I love it,' Carol whispered to him, he loved it too, he couldn't think of a better place to start again. He also kind of thought he could move into the small apartment rather than above the garage. He liked it too, he didn't like Ollie trying to slide down the railings of the stairs and called him back. Carol opened the huge double doors out to the courtyard. It was amazing. They had seen the price, they just needed to sell where they were.

'I do like it,' he looked a little overwhelmed he didn't think he would ever like anywhere else but the house they had, all his memories there, his memories were not the same as hers though, 'Do you think we could .................... do you think I could move into the apartment rather than above the garage?'

'I think so, I'd like that,'

'Me too, also, I think if you go up to the master bedroom and look you will be able to see Merle and Maggies place,'

'Is that a good thing or bad thing?'

'Depends, it means that you will have Maggie there if you need her,' They were walking the stairs together, he had his arm around her. The whole place just felt like home, it felt like coming home. It was a little nerve racking for him she could tell, he was nervous about it, making changes leaving the old place to start again. 'I think we should put a offer in, sell our place,'

'Are you really sure?' 

'I'm ............... I was dead against it all, shocked about it, now I'm here looking around, I think it................ I think it would be good for me to move on, for us to to move on, with Ollie together,' he looked at her and took her hand taking her over to the big bedroom window, 'But we need curtains, cos I think we going to see Merle's naked arse from here,'

'Its not to big?'

'Not really I don''t think it makes much sense just to have one bathroom though, maybe we can take a bedroom and turn it into another bathroom or something, the lounge is huge and so is the dinning room, do we need to use a dinning room, we can just turn the kitchen into one, with a fire and a couch it would be really cosy.'

He was right, the down stairs was large, upstairs was large and the apartment was almost a completely separate add on at the back of the house. So the down stairs on the left was a massive lounge and small dinning room off it, on the right almost half the house was a kitchen with a garden. They called Ollie and went downstairs to walk about. It had some land, not much but some. They walked about, looking at the few out houses and barn. They had kept some animals here they didn't know if they would but they had their kittens and they could get a dog if they wanted too.

Daryl wrapped his arm's around Carol, and she leaned back into him. They watched Ollie running around the field out behind the house. They both felt it, Carol was sure it wasn't just her, they found the perfect home for them. Perfect because it did suit their needs, it would also give them both space from each other but a chance to slowly become the family they both wanted to be. Also it meant they both would be seeing Ollie every day. Something that Daryl really wanted to do and see.

Carol turned in his arms, 'Are you ok? I mean you have all your things, are you ready to pack up all your stuff, Sophia's bassinet?' Carol asked him. 'If we have another baby do you want to use it or .....................'

'I don't know,' he told her, he didn't he'd kept it like it was the day he pulled her out of it and tried to do C.P.R on her on their bedroom floor. 'I don't, I guess I'm just kinda thinking I'm just gonna put it in the back of the truck like it is,'

'Have you talked about it with anyone?'

'Yeah I went to a group a couple of times, but it wasn't .................. I don't know,'

'You can talk to me.................. I was there,'

He just nodded and swallowed a little, Ollie come running back towards them, he just nodded again and kissed her on the head, 'I want too, I want to talk about her. You did,'

'I don't know, I been talking about her to Ollie since he was a baby, I guess he's a little used to it now,' she looked at him for a moment, 'What would you do if Ollie went into the bedroom and messed it all up playing with her things?'

'I don't know, he wouldn't be doing it to hurt me or wreck it on purpose,' he whispered, she was worried, her room was like a shine to her for Daryl. 

'I used her baby blanket to wrap Ollie in as a baby, it helped me........................ maybe you could give something to Ollie? Some thing to Merle's kids? Some thing to Merle and Maggie to have? I was thinking we could get those little pink booties put into a frame, what do you think?'

'About giving her stuff away?'

'No by giving some trinkets to those who loved her?'

'I don't know, I need to think about it, I guess....................... if we have another baby we could use the bassinet......................... I'd like that,' Daryl whispered, 'I like that,'

'Daryl................ I love you.................. I just want you to know that............................ I'm a little crazy right now, unsure...................... but I love you,' Carol hugged him again, Ollie wanted in on the hug, Carol bent down to pick him up to cuddle him too. Ollie had one arm around each of their neck's, he had no idea why they were exploring the new house but he was having a good time.

They walked together back to their car they were still borrowing Merles, they really needed to get one that they could put a seat in. The truck was hopeless, Daryl went to talk with the real estate about a price and putting their house on the market. Carol watched him from the car. She shut her eyes for a moment, trying to relax her brain, she just wanted everything to be ok, everyone to be ok. She hoped they were making a step in the right direction. Daryl certainly had a bit of spring in his step rather than dread when he come back.

They arrived back at the home, Daryl disappeared into Sophia's room. She didn't want to push him for anything but when he come out he invited Ollie to follow him in and look around. He told him that he could come in a play in there. Sophia would like him to play with her things. Carol stuck her head around the door looking at Daryl showing him her stuff. He'd even opened the window a bit, it was sunny and they could smell the fresh air. The smell of flowers coming from somewhere. He pointed to the high cupboard in the room, 'everything I want to keep is up there, everything else, I think we can share with Ollie?'

She looked around she wondered what was actually in the cupboard, she opened it. Pulled down the plastic bin of memories and took it through to their bedroom and sat with it on the bed, he'd done it again, everything that had meaning to both of them. The outfit they brought her home in, the pink booties, the baby photos, Carol had said at the time they had gone over board on photos, they had hundreds and hundreds. Pregnancy books and everything that had special meaning to them. The rest was just things that they had for her. He'd done a great job, he'd put together the scrapbook and kept all her notes, added to them. She had regret for not staying and running from him, she couldn't change it now.

He come into the room to look to see what she thought, 'You did well, you're a great Dad, Ollie and Sophia are lucky,'

He just stood there and blinked a little, he walked over to the bed, he'd left Ollie in Sophia's room which was a big step to let anyone else in. Carol went over to her bag and pulled something out she handed it to him. He looked down at the ring box in his hand. He'd known she didn't wear her rings anymore.

'Just in case................ you know if you ever wanna ask a girl to marry you again, you should have them,' She told him, he nodded and put the box in his pocket, she was putting the ball into his court of when they could exchange rings again, he still had his he went to the drawer he kept it in, brought it over for her to keep for the time being, they had time. They had time.

'Look, my teddy likes sleeping in the little baby bed,' Ollie come into the room, he was pushing the bassinet and he'd pulled the bed apart to tuck his teddy in, 'shush he's sleeping he likes it in there,' Carol looked at Daryl's face and Daryl just reached over to show Ollie how to tuck the baby teddy in better, Ollie was happy pushing the bassinet back out of the room back into his own room.

'How do you feel?'

'I don't feel that bad really, Ollie is playing with her things, I feel ok about that,' Daryl put the lid on the baby box and put it in their wardrobe, he lay down on the bed beside her and cuddled her, 'I think its going to be ok,'

 


	17. Chapter 17

Three weeks past, they slowly packed up the old house to move to the new house, the deal had gone through. They had people lined up to buy their house. Every thing was packed up and Merle was moving the boxes out to the back of the truck and trailer they had brought into move the stuff. Carol and Daryl had found their own common ground talking to each other. Going to counselling about the big mess they were in.

Daryl was enjoying playing with Ollie, he felt a bit more relaxed about Sophia's things, Merle and Maggie made a big fuss about the few things of her's he offered them. He could see they had dressed little Phoebe in one of his favourite outfits, one he'd brought for her by himself. He even taken to picking the little girl up to hold sometimes. It didn't make his heart ache. Carol was pushing him to face questions and thoughts he didn't want to face, the more she pushed him the better he felt. They made love a few more time but Carol had taken to sleeping alone, in the spare room. Daryl tried to talk her into sleeping with him but she needed to spend some time apart to clear her head.

Carol come out holding a box of Ollies stuff and walked outside with it to put it in the back of the car that they had brought, 7 seats, she didn't think she was going to need 7 seats. She really hoped she wouldn't have to worry about 7 seats. 2 seats or three seats, but Daryl insisted that if they ended up watching Merle's kids or whatever come their way they would need a bigger car. She didn't want to be driving a bus so she had a wagon, it had normal size seats and the one's in the back could fold down. She had the whole back folded down so it looked like a station wagon. 

Ollie was off with his Aunty Maggie at their house keeping out of the way. They had been slowly moving stuff out of the house for the past week but today was actually the day. It was moving day. They would move and clean today. Tonight was going to be spent in a hotel, Merle and Maggie offered but it would be unfair on Daryl, on them because although he was doing a great deal better the cries of their baby through the night would make him really sad. It was getting on top of him all of the new things.

They had agreed to let Ollie stay over with them though, they were actually looking forward to spending some time alone without him. Carol wandered around the empty shell of the house. Only one thing left to pack and it was Sophia's shelf, she had a insulated box, bubble wrap packing and tape, Carol had it all on the floor waiting for him to do it. He come in wiping his hands on his pants. He looked at it. She could tell it was a big thing for him.

'You want me to do it or do you want to?'

'Put tape around it so it doesn't break open,'

'Its double bagged inside,' she whispered, She wrapped the tape around the lid so it wouldn't come apart. She held it out to him to wrap. He was just standing there watching, she had to keep going wrapping up what was the only thing left in the house. She went down to her hands and knees, Wrapping the little urn in bubble wrap. She probably over wrapped, it wasn't going to break, or shatter, it was metal. It was the process of it all. She watched as Daryl picked up the small packages and put them in the insulated box she had. He bent down to pick it up and put the box out in her car. 

They decided to have commercial cleaners come into both houses to clean them top to bottom. The house they were moving to no one had been in for a year or more and this one, Carol didn't want to spend the next few days cleaning it top to bottom. She wanted to move on with Daryl. He looked happy because he was moving on to his family. He knew they couldn't stay in the pass. Carol was giving a great deal of trust to him especially after everything, they had been talking, moving on together. 

'You ready?' Carol hugged him when he come back into the house to check her, she was doing a last sweep of the housed, they both stood in the master bedroom holding each other, saying their own little goodbye's to the house, to the sad things that happened there. Both of them wanting to move on. They wouldn't forget Sophia, they were taking her with them. They had made that decisions 5 years ago that they all wanted her to be able to be brought with them if they ever moved on. They were taking her with them.

'Its going to be ok,' she whispered to him, working together, coming together she knew they could get through it. Carol was so far ahead in her grief process where Daryl had stopped still with his. It had been a great deal of crying and a great deal of talking. Forgiving him, loving him, he also needed to try forgive himself for his part in the marriage break down.

'I know.................. its just hard, can we go see Ollie?' he asked her, she nodded that they would be going to see him. 

Merle had already headed to the house to drop off his load. They locked the house, Carol walked out with her arm around his waist towards the car. He hugged her again, she worried a little that he was going to be in a good state of mind to drive, he assured her that he would be fine driving. He was upset but not so much so that he wouldn't be able to drive. She was worried about him. He'd hit all stages of grief in the past three weeks, she'd tried to keep him focused on the fact that they needed to work together. In the back of her mind she was worried he was going to pick up a bottle of beer or something. She wasn't worried about a bottle of beer socially but worried that he could very easily use it as a prop to keep the pain away like he did in the past.

She blamed his childhood that he'd had, he'd never had much love but when he met Carol they were so in love, then both of them fell in love with their daughter. He'd fallen hard for Ollie, she knew that he was worried about loving him too much to quickly. Ollie had different idea's to Daryl, he wanted a Daddy and Daryl really had no choice on if he wanted in boots and all, Ollie dragged him in boots and all.

Daryl was Daddy, Ollie was calling him Daddy, the word Daddy become the most popular word around the house. Daddy was giving him a bath, reading the book, helping get him dressed, making his sandwich, everything. Ollie didn't want Carol's help when Daddy could do it. Ollie also taken to climbing into bed during the night while Daryl was sleeping. Daryl kept waking up with the little boy pressed up against his side. Daryl was a little scared about it, in case something happened. Carol told him that it would be fine because of Ollie's size and age. 

He was packed to the top of the truck he was driving in. Carol followed him out to the truck, she was going to be following him out of the house. She watched him drive off, she saw him indicated to the side of the road. She knew he was waiting for her to follow him, she climbed into the car, she looked at the little box on the seat beside her. She stared at it wondering what the heck was she doing. She put the box on the floor in case she had to break suddenly she didn't want them to fall onto the floor. The little gifts were bugging her, he hadn't told her, she wanted to know, her anniversary was coming up quickly in a couple of weeks. 5 years. 

Daryl pulled out ahead of her and she tailed him slowly to the new house. Carol pulled up the drive behind Daryl. She climbed out, still amazed they brought the new house, she looked around felt calm and at home. Daryl looked like he'd been crying the whole way driving there. Climbing out of the cab wiping his face. He did however look more relaxed at the new place. Carol reached in picking up the box from the floor. Daryl was waiting for her to come to him, he went to take the box from her, she let him because she knew he needed it.

'You ok?' She asked him loads of times today, she needed him to be ok with everything, he nodded that he was, Daryl carried the box inside the house. He'd been out yesterday to put a shelf up in the main living room, Carol didn't know how he did it but he'd somehow managed to acquire a glass type display case for it. She'd gotten the booties frames during the week and they had stuff to go so they could always cherish the memories and show any children they had photos of her, also share stories about their older sister.

Daryl could see how it worked with Ollie talking about her from before he could talk. He'd always known he had a sister and what had happened. He talked about her a great deal. They way he played Daryl had even asked Carol if she thought Ollie was actually playing with her ghost or something. He seemed to get so in-depth in his games playing and talking to her. Carol had told him she didn't know, maybe, maybe he just like playing game's and including her. She's never really asked him, but she had had an imaginary friend when she was little and she could of sworn it was real. Daryl wasn't sure, he did know the fact that Ollie was talking about her asking him questions it made it easier for him and Carol to talk about her rather than putting it to the back of his mind where he though he put it but really it was on his constant thoughts right up until Carol come back.

Merle and Daryl brought in everything, the lounge and kitchen was full, they hadn't hired movers because moving from the old place was so sensitive for both of them they didn't want people touching their stuff. Carol knew they would be unpacking for weeks. Tomorrow they would set up the beds, but tonight they were going for dinner with Maggie and Merle at a local pub down the road then they were going on alone to a hotel. They were both looking forward to it, they were both exhausted but it was a bitter sweet day moving into their new house.

They were driving out of the house to meet the others at the pub, Daryl stopped the car and looked at Carol. 

'Are you going to think I'm odd if I want to go back and get her so she's not alone in the house with no one there?' Carol looked at him like he'd read her mind she'd been thinking the same thing.

'As long as you don't think i'm mad for trying to figure out a way to tell you the same thing,' He drove back, unlocked the house run in and come walking out with the box he'd quickly put everything into. 

 

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

Daryl had Ollies bed turned on its side, he was trying to put it together. Ollie had a screw driver and was trying to help. Daryl was getting frustrated because he was undoing the screws while Daryl was doing them up at the other end.

'Ollie you need to stop or we never going to get your room done and you will have to sleep on the floor,'

'I'll sleep with Mum,' Ollie told him.

'Nope you're a big boy you sleep in your own bed,'

'But you sleep in Mum's bed,' Ollie told him.

'Just sometimes,'

'Well sometimes I sleep in there and you can sleep on the floor,' Ollie told him. 

Daryl bit his lip to try not to laugh at him. He looked at his little boy as he was blabbling away about all the reasons why he should get to nap beside his Mum and Daryl should have to sleep in his own bed. 

'Ollie you know I'm going to be staying in the other part of the house for a bit,' he told Ollie, 'but you can come over whenever you wanna if I'm not working,'

'I know, is it cos you have cooties?'

'No I don't have them, just we going to sleep in different areas,' Daryl knew he was getting backed into the corner by his 4 year old, through the door burst Harley with Merle right on his tail, he had a pink baby strapped to his chest, Daryl gave him a nod. Merle laughed seeing the mess and the bed Daryl was trying to put together.

'He keeps taking it apart all the time, every time I screw one bit up he unscrews it again,' Daryl told him.

'Ollie you got to twist to the right, your right is this way,' Merle got down on the floor behind Ollie to show him which way was right, Daryl sat back watching his brother seemingly effortlessly show Ollie how to screw the right way. To help not hinder, Merle soon had the two little boys working together threading screws and putting the bed together all at the same time of having his tiny daughter strapped to his chest. Daryl felt jealous, Merle could do it but he couldn't, he felt like he was crap at it. Ollie was giggling and hugged Merle easily. Daryl moved about setting out his dresser and opened up some suitcases taking out some clothes hanging it up. 

'Well is that ok?' Merle asked Daryl, he clearly hadn't been listening to him.

'What?'

'Can you watch Phoebe for a few and I'll take the boys?'

'What do you mean?'

'Maggie just fed her, she will be asleep for at least another hour, Maggies just taking a shower then she will walk over,'

'You want me to watch Phoebe?'

'Maggies coming, come on you gotta at some stage,'

'Carol's not here,' Daryl looked panic'd, he looked worse as Merle unstrapped the baby and moved towards his brother who was stepping back like he was going to knife him.

'Come on, she doesn't bite, just wear her for a bit, you will be fine, I trust you,' Merle told him, Daryl stood frozen holding the baby to his chest as Merle strapped the baby to his front, she was so tiny and smelt like baby powder, the smell was enough to make him want to freak out. 'You will be fine, if you can't cope walk over to my house with her, I'll be back in half an hour,'

Merle left taking the two boys to the park down the road where he had originally been heading, leaving Daryl in charge of Phoebe was a chance idea to push him a little. He left before Daryl had a chance to gather his thoughts, he just hoped he was doing a good thing and not sending him over the edge. Daryl looked down at his chest, they used to wear Sophia like this, fighting to see who's turn it was to wear their baby with pride and now with the baby strapped to his chest he felt like he might cry. He thought he finished crying, the baby was sucking a thumb, a wack of dark hair like her mother over her head, she was different from her cousin.

He walked carefully down the stairs, walking outside talking to her even though she was asleep. He knew Merle took a chance leaving her with him. He could of easily taken her and the boys to the park. He wanted to give Daryl a chance to bond with her without anyone being there. He sat on the porch swing leaning back, stroking her back as she slept on his chest, he shut his eyes listening to her breathing. Rocking the swing with one foot.

That's where Carol found him asleep with Phoebe strapped to his chest both arms holding her. She walked past him putting the groceries just inside the house, she grabbed their camera to take a photo that they could display of Uncle Daryl with Phoebe, in her mind you could never ever take enough photos. She also had a secret to tell him. She'd stopped by the doctors on her way to the store and had a nurse run a test for her. She had news, she had big news, news that made her giddy to even think about. 

 


	19. Chapter 19

'You're joking?' Daryl leaned back on his chair he looked stunned, he looked beat too, they been working all day fixing up the house. Ollie was sound asleep and they were sitting at their table in the big old farm kitchen. They had pulled the baby monitor out of Sophia's stuff to put in Ollie's room because he seemed so far away upstairs and they could hear him from downstairs if he needed him.

Carol beamed and nodded at him, 'not joking, its pretty soon right?'

'So soon,' Daryl felt like he was going to choke on his chicken as Carol dropped the bomb shell on him. She wanted to make it special, she also didn't want anyone else to know yet because it was still only early days. 'Should you be unpacking those boxes?'

'I'm not made of glass,'

'You know what I mean,'

'Daryl hate to burst your bubble but I haven't lifted anything heaver than this glass since we started moving, apart from Ollie, but then I've been sitting down,'

'So you just pretended to help move?'

'I moved some stuff but ... I might have moved a little less than you,' Carol looked him in the eye and blushed a little, 'I carried my purse upstairs, and my makeup bag,'

'Wow, are you ok? Need me to rub your shoulders?'

'Hmm maybe, I need a bath though,' she told him.

'Only bath is in the apartment,'

'Its a big bath, really big, I'm sure we could both fit in it,'

'I don't do bath's, bath's are for chicks,'

'Chicks?'

'Women then,'

'You think guys don't take baths? Guys take bath's,'

'Bullshit,'

'Daryl they do,' Carol took another bite of her chicken, moving it around her plate eating some more food. 'I got some bubble bath and salts in the shopping,'

'I don't....' he looked at her wondering why the hell he was arguing with her about getting wet and naked in the bath. In their new house, 'Righto then... we gonna lock up then?' 

He busied himself locking up the house and then they checked Ollie to make sure he was dead asleep. Carol wondered if they should get baby gates. She asked Daryl and he shook his head, told her they would just be a pain in the arse having to climb over them and open them up. Ollie had been running up and down the stairs all day. He told her that they would think about it once Phoebe started walking or something. Make it so they wouldn't tumble down when they were walking. 

Carol was surprised he was thinking about his niece so easily. Carol knew it been tough getting to the stage where he was at to say her name without even thinking about it like most uncles would talk about their nieces and nephews. Big changes had come for Daryl in the past month. Carol went to find towels and the bath things, Daryl followed her though to the apartment to check out the bath, they left all the doors open and took the baby monitor with them. 

Daryl watched as she set about running a bath for them, indicating he should strip. She kicked off her shoes and pushed her pants down over her hips, he caught sight of the tattoo that was on her stomach, he pulled his shirt off and they both had the same name on their bodies. He held her hand as she stepped over into the bath, whomever had decided to put the bath in the apartment had decided to do so on a grand scale, a huge deep bath big enough for everyone. He stood their looking awkward, he still had his pants on. 

'You have to take them off,'

'I am,'

'No you're just standing there,'

Daryl dropped his pants and stepped over the side of the bath. Carol moved around until she was sitting between his legs, she leaned back onto his chest, his arms wrapped around her glossing over her stomach. He looked around the room he was wrigging around and he felt a little uncomfortable, water was going everywhere. He was getting turned on Carol  could feel it pressing up against her back.

'See its relaxing,'

'Not really we just sitting around in our filth and sweat,' he mumbled. 'All the stuff on our skin floating around,'

'Daryl,'

'Its just gross, I don't like it,' he was tapping his foot and sending little waves up the bath. 'How can you stand it, at least in the lake you ain't sitting in your own waste water,'

'Ok, Daryl I thought this was going to be romantic, you can get out, take a shower and then I might just forgive you for wrecking my romantic moment with you,' Carol was annoyed he ruined her bath, she thought they could have a nice time together but it wasn't the case.  Daryl pulled himself up and moved to the shower knowing he better shut up before Carol growled at him again. 

'I'ma sorry,' he told her standing there dripping naked, he turned his back and went into the shower to wash himself.

Carol pulled the plug on the bath and followed him into the shower. Carol held her hand out so he could help her get out safely and she joined him in the shower. It was a quick affair because she was still mad at him, she was going to have a big tub in their eusuite and there was nothing he could do about it. He wasn't going to ruin her bath experience on a nightly occasion, he already put her off any romance that might have happened that evening. She couldn't be convinced by Daryl mainly because she was so tired from the move and Daryl's comments had made her feel like vomiting. 

 

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've edited this because I realized that Daryl had never met Tara..... woops!

Daryl knew he basically screwed himself out of a nice romantic evening by not being able to have a plesant conversation while in the bath, he knew he should have kept his mouth shut in the shower but he only succeeded in making Carol feel sick, he spent the next hour of so watching tv in their bed in the room she chose for them. Rubbing her back around and around while they watched tv. His hands were exploring her back rubbing her lower back every now and again to try make her feel better, it made him feel better because he was the one making her think about gross things. 

All the time she was taking sips on ginger ale that she had brought with the shopping and eating potato chips. He tried to really spoon her letting her know by rubbing himself up and down her back that he was interested in doing a little more that spooning but she said no. She told him that if he hadn't been such a dork in the bath he would've been getting laid right now but now she kept thinking about the floaties in the bath and every time she did she started to gag. He felt like a idiot, most men would have kept their mouths shut and enjoyed a nice night of slow love making in the bath or now in the bed but all he managed to do was to make his wife want to vomit and ruin their night.

He kept telling her he was sorry and he wouldn't do it again, she just finished watching her program, turning around into him. She snuggled into his chest. He was thankful she was seeking out comfort with him not pushing him away. Carol was nose to chest on him, he could feel her breaths on his chest. He was running his hands up and down her back, he'd managed to sneak his hands up under her tee shirt that she was wearing, he didn't go near her panties because he thought she might trottle him. 

She finally fell asleep, and he kept watching tv for a while. He was in the process of turning the TV off when Ollie come into the room wanting in the bed. With Carol not feeling well he said no, but Ollie wanted in the bed with her. Daryl tried to get him to go back to bed, Ollie wanted to get into bed with Carol and was digging his heels in, he wanted to lie down beside Daryl or climb into bed between them. He was winding up to cry, Daryl wanted to stop him before he woke Carol, she was tired and he was worried about her being a little sick. 

He hated seeing her feel even a little sick, he always had. She hadn't been sick often when pregnant with Sophia and he didn't know about with Ollie he hadn't had the chance to talk to her about it. Carol normally was pretty healthy so when she mentioned she was feeling a little sick Daryl run about getting her drink and her chips, holding her, rubbing her back. He didn't want her to feel bad at all. 

'Ollie what if I lie with you in your bed for a bit till you fall asleep?' Daryl offered in negotiation. 'Mum's just nearby,'

'What does nearby mean?' Ollie asked him,

'It means.... close she's close to you,'

'But close is here,' Ollie indicated to his side.

'It can also mean close in the next room,' Daryl was whispering to try calm Ollie down a little hoping he might copy him and settle into bed.

Ollie mused it over while Daryl moved about getting his bed remade that he could fit in around the mountains of stuffed toys that seemed to exploded in his bedroom. He didn't know where they all come from, sometimes he'd brought one, Carol had brought him things and now he was feeling like he was about to sleep in a toy room. Daryl pulled back the sheets so they could climb in. He was tired, Ollie was getting tearful now. 

'Come on I'll give you a cuddle,' Daryl tried, he yawned a little and wanted Ollie just to get in the bed and do as he was told.

'Can I have a ice cream?' Ollie asked Daryl.

'No its bed time, its the middle of the night,'

'No, I want to have one, please?'

'No, come on, get in,' Daryl was standing there in his newly brought pj pants and tee shirt. Ollie was wearing spiderman pj's and he crossed his arms in front of him refusing to get into his bed, Daryl couldn't understand why he was asking for ice cream or why he wasn't getting into bed.

'Well can I have some juice?' Ollie asked.

'No you have a drink right there if you are thirsty, Ollie its bedtime we are going to bed and to sleep, if you don't get in I'm getting out and you sleep alone,'

Ollie stood there and weighed up his options of what he could do next, 'I need to go to the toilet,'

'Really?' Daryl moaned, he knew they would have to go downstairs to the toilet, it was going to be the first thing they needed to do was get a toilet and bathroom upstairs, he didn't want Carol walking downstairs with a pregnant belly to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. 'Come on then.... you better go if you are dragging me all the way downstairs again,'

He turned on the light, he was wide awake now thanks to Ollie, Ollie was wide awake and they headed down the stairs. Ollie jumped from stair to stair as Daryl shut his eyes waiting for the crash as he tumbled down them. He didn't though. Ollie run ahead to the toilet, Daryl was sure he was never ever going to go to sleep. Daryl took the time to use the toilet also and together they made their way to go back upstairs.

They both turned and looked at the front door when there was a knock at it. Ollie started to walk towards it, Daryl didn't know who would be knocking at the front door at this time of night. He made to grab at Ollie, he was too quick Ollie unlocked it and flung the door open before he could stop them.

'Whatz up bitches?' Tara bounced over the door step dumping a whole lot of bags on the floor, 'Ollie, Ollie, Ollie, your my Cutie pie,' she sang to him picking him up and dancing around, 'Do you have some money? I owe the cabbie $20,' Tara asked Daryl, he gave a half nod and went to where he'd seen Carol put some change for them, he handed her $20 and she bounded back down the steps to pay. He stood staring at her hoping she was the Tara Carol had been talking about.

'That Tara?' he asked Ollie, Ollie jumped up and down up and down nodding that it was.

'So mini dude what are you doing up?' Tara asked him, 'Show me the toilet and a bed I'm beat, where is the Mama Bear?'

'Sleeping,' Daryl finally found his words, he stepped forward to shake her hands and got a fist bump instead, 'You staying, we got a spare mattress in Ollies room,' Daryl showed her where she could shower, dragged her bags upstairs apart from the one she took with her into the bathroom. He tossed out a sleeping bag and a pillow for her to go on the spare mattress, Ollie was in bed quick smart when he knew Tara was about to sleep in his room. Tara was full on, he said goodnight to them both and went into the room with Carol to go have some sleep while he still could.

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

Carol woke in Daryl's arms tight and snug she had her head tucked under his chin. She could hear giggles drifting up from down stairs. She went to bolt of of bed. Daryl tightened his arms around her holding her in the bed with him. She couldn't tell if he was doing it in his sleep or what he was doing, he half rolled his leg over her legs also to keep her in the bed. She struggled a little Daryl run his hand down her side, she felt him press up against her side showing his interest.

'Ollie's awake,'

'I know he's with his Aunty Tara let them be,' Daryl mumbled.

Carol struggled to sit up but he was busy trying to get friendly with her. 

'Tara?' Carol pushed him back a little, 'What's she doing here?'

'I thought you knew; she just arrived about 11 last night now she's babysitting,' he mumbled he could tell his morning delight was going to be cut short. 'I asked her to watch him,'

'So you asked my friend who I haven't seen in ages to watch Ollie so you could have sex?'

'Something like that,' he mumbled against her hair, 'he's ok for a bit,' he rubbed himself against her she glanced up at her. He cuddled into her stroking down her side. 'Ollie's fine sooooooooooo.......'

'Daryl you are terrible, you are a horrible host,' Carol looked up at him and he took the chance dropping his head to catch her lips in his. He rolled her onto her back hooking up her leg under her knee. He kissed down her jaw making his way to her ear. 'We should spend some time with Tara,'

'Babe she's fine she's having a great time and Ollie will be ok without us for 5 minutes,'

'Are you the 5 minute man now?'

'I could be,' he rubbed himself up against her again. 'I've been good, I could make you feel really good,'

She turned her mouth to his, he moved so he was in between her legs. His hard on pushed right up by her and he bent to just kiss her again. His hands were tugging at her tee shirt to pull it up a little. She put her hand on his and guided it down instead of up. 'Go on then make me feel good,'

He blushed at her words talking about him touching her in ways that made her want to call his name out loud. She gave a soft moan as he run a finger around her clit, she pushed up into his palm. He flicked his thumb over her clit again, 'You like that?'

'No, I think you need to keep practicing or work out a way that I could like it more,' Carol told him, 'I think you can work a lot harder on making me feel good,'

'Cheeky,' 

'Get to work then.'

'You need to be quiet,'

'Maybe you should lock the door?'

'We will hear them coming up,'

Daryl stroked her a again, circling her clit; he pushed her tee shirt up to bare her breasts to him, he latched onto one making her arch her back. He took her hand putting  them above her head, holding them there with one hand. Working her with his other. His mouth latched onto her nipple. She was moaning and  wriggling under his touch. He took his hand off her for a moment to push his pants down. He lined himself up with her pushing his way into her slowly. He let her hands go, reaching behind him to pull the sheet up to cover them aware there were others in the house and the door was wide open.

He stilled in her for a moment, she rolled her hips with a little frown on her face. 'Come on move!'

'What was that? You want..... me.... to... what?' 

'Don't be a tease... move,' Carol moaned, she pushed her hips up into him.

'You want it?'

'You are going to pay for this if you don't move, please babe,'

Daryl began to move slowly inside her. His mouth moved to her other nipple deciding to pay it some attention. Carol was meeting him thrust for thrust. A basic position and a nice slow sexy fuck first thing in the morning. Daryl pushed himself up resting on his elbows so he could watch her face as he moved inside her. She felt so good, and she was having his baby. He tried to put that out of his mind as he moved inside of her. He knew it couldn't hurt the baby but he did have half a worry that they would remember what he did to their mother while she was pregnant.

'You ok?' he whispered as they moved with each other.

'Its good, real real good,' Carol whispered. 'Real.... real...' Carol reached between them finding her own clit to bring on her own orgasm Daryl pushed her hand away to do it himself knowing she preferred it with him touching her. Daryl could feel her getting wetter underneath him. He'd been holding his own orgasm back waiting for her. She had a lazy smile on her face as he looked into her eyes and he bent down again to kiss her deeply.  He could feel her coming around him milking him, he kept kissing her though her ride. He gave a few more strokes himself before finishing himself. 

He stayed inside her, leaning off to the side propped up on his elbow, he leaned in to kiss her again. 'Was that ok or do we still need to be practicing?'

'I think we should practice on Wednesdays and Saturday nights?' she whispered back. They were the two nights they were going to be spending together that he would spend in the main house. He would sleep the rest of the time in the apartment unless he was invited by Carol per the rules with their Councillors. Daryl could request formal entry by knocking at the front door to visit Carol. Ollie could go freely between the two area's as long as he told Carol where he was. 

'Wednesdays and Saturdays?' Daryl gave a low chuckle, 'I can do that, I'll need a great deal of practice I think,'

'Cheeky, now I really must go visit with Tara and go to the toilet,'

'Ok,' he pulled out slowly to let her move. 'First thing tomorrow we getting someone here to sort out a upstairs bathroom,'

'I'd really like that,'

Daryl rolled out of the bed and pulled on his jeans. He grabbed a change of clothes to have a shower. Carol also took clothes down to have a shower also. Yes only having one bathroom downstairs sucked. Daryl waved hello to Tara who was playing trains with Ollie and ducked through to the apartment. Carol hugged Tara then quickly went through to the bathroom.

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just to let you all know this will be finishing up in the next few chapters.

The laughter could be heard through out the house, it was coming through the walls to the apartment on the other side. Daryl put a pillow over his head to block the noise out. All the women were there having a girls night. Tara, Carol and now Maggie had joined them with baby Phoebe. It was supposed to be date night but they had got into a slight argument about something silly and he had canceled it. He told her he wasn't going out with her now because he was annoyed about how slow they were taking things, but that wasn't the real reason, they both knew the real reason.

Carol had said fine! Which Daryl knew he was well and truly in the dog box with her as he left and went to sulk in his own side. He was frustrated, upset and now alone. It had been his fault and he picked the fight almost to bring on the argument. Carol wanted to quit the counselling because she felt they had come full circle. Daryl did too but he wanted to move back in and he wanted Tara gone. The argument had been about Tara.... again, it was all they seemed to be arguing about. Daryl couldn't cope with it, Tara being so close to his family and being so supportive of Carol. It made him wild and jealous, also he kept wondering if there was something more in the relationship between them. The small smiles, the inside jokes and the way Ollie listened to everything she said.

It started off pretty much the morning after Tara arrived, Daryl become jealous of their relationship. Carol assured him that it was just friendship, he was also jealous about her relationship with Ollie, he couldn't help but feel resentful; and now he could hear Carol giggling with the other women when they should be out on a date or at home in bed together. He was a idiot, he knew there was nothing going on between Tara and Carol. Carol had told him, shown him but he couldn't help it, he was as jealous as fuck. 

It been two weeks since they moved into the house. Two weeks that he had had underlying simmering of jealousy and tonight he had blown his top when Tara come bouncing down the stairs without wearing a bra under her shirt giving Carol a hug telling her that she'd loved how they snuggled up last night to watch DVD's. Daryl couldn't take it he really thought there was something going on between them. Tara had jokenly slapped Carol's butt as she walked though the kitchen to go upstairs to use the new bathroom they had installed. Then he asked -  _again._

_He never thought he would be jealous of his wife and another women but here he was simmering under the surface worried that Carol might have an affair._

Tomorrow was the anniversary of their baby's death. Carol was giggling, he was fuming, he had a day planned for them tomorrow to take them where he went. Carol had asked him to settle down that nothing was going on they were just really good friends, she was not interested in Tara because she loved him. She had asked him to take her on a date still or through to his apartment but he couldn't do it because he was trying to control his feelings which were all over the place. Carol had said 'Fine!' and that was the end of the argument as she went upstairs to check on Ollie who was asleep. He didn't know if that would happen now. He put the pillow over his head and tried to go to sleep, to block out the women talking and watching a movie.

A few hours later he felt his bed shift and a cold body slide in next to him. He must have dozed off at some stage, he rolled towards her looking at the time it was now 11pm and he'd been asleep for a few hours.

'Are you still mad?' she whispered to him.

He shook his head and wrapped his arms around her, 'I'm jealous of her,' he finally admitted. 'She's close to you guys and it makes me realize how much I missed,'

'I can see that, would it help if I asked her to move out?' Carol asked.

'No that's not fair she's got no where to go,'

'Well she has, she can move in here and you can move in with me and Ollie?' Carol offered.

'You serious? The counselor said......'

'I don't care, I'm ready.... I am, I need you in my bed, my life, Ollie's life,' Carol kissed him finding her mark in the dark of his soft lips. She wriggled really really close to him stroking down the side of his face, 'I'm ready to forgive and forget, move on together, but if you ever start drinking like that again we are gone,'

'I'm not going to drink like that again,' his hand glossed over her body, her tummy stroking her slight bump. 'I'm gona try not be jealous of Tara,'

'That's good because I don't think Tara's interested in me anyway she seems to have her eye on Merle and Maggie's nanny Rosita,'

'Really?'

'She's into girl's Daryl,'

'I know I just thought she was into my girl,'

'We never went there, I'm not into girls, I mean I can appreciate a beautiful women but I don't want to sleep with one,' She climbed onto him straddling his lap, lying down on top of him to kiss him again, 'You don't need to be jealous,'

'We still going tomorrow?'

'We are still going,' Carol whispered to him, then she took the lead kissing him, making love to him in the dark.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi guys thanks for reading, this little fic is finished thanks for reading hope you enjoyed the not so perfect couple who will make it till the end.

Daryl did talk to Tara and laid his cards on the table admitting he was jealous. Tara had hugged him assuring him that if Carol was that way inclined she would have tried to bed her a long time ago. They were best friends, they really enjoyed each other and she hoped that he and her could become friends also.

Carol climbed onto the back of his bike, it was something they wanted to do together. Merle had come across to take Ollie for most of the day and they were all coming together that evening for dinner as a special night. Merle was impressed that Daryl still seemed to be stepping in the right direction. Every year he disappeared on the anniversary not being found till the next day. It made him and Maggie feel sick about it.

Carol wrapped her arms tight around his waist and put her head to the side. It had been a long time since she ridden on his bike with him. She never forgot the trill. He wanted to take the truck because she was pregnant but she wanted to do it his way. The baby was barely there and protected by her. She wasn't even 6 weeks on yet. She assured him she would be fine as long as he drove sensibly. She could tell he was holding back driving on the highway. Trees past in a blur and finally she recognized where they were.

He parked his bike and waited for her to swing her leg off holding onto his shoulder while she stood looking about. They had been here the night before she died. They had taken a picnic and had their real first real family outing. Daryl swung his leg off the bike and he hugged her. They also been here on their wedding day having left to go on their honeymoon his his bike. It was a special place.

She looked about down at the water in the quarry, he helped her unbuckle the clips under her chin so she could take her helmet off. She tugged off her leather jacket that she was wearing. Last time they been here together they had brought the car, spent the day in the shade eating and enjoying the day together with Sophia. Clearly Daryl had been coming back alone. He tugged at the straps on her helmet to help her take it off. He rested it on the handle bars of his bike. 

He took his own helmet off as she unzipped the zip on her leather jacket that surprisingly still fitted her. Carol looked around. The place hadn't changed in all the time she'd been away. Daryl was clearly a frequent visitor. He unbuckled the straps on the saddle bags to pull out a blanket and some food he had packed in there without her knowing. She had just assumed they would stop somewhere to eat. He handed her a bottle of water and she drunk it down.

'You ok? The baby?' he nodded to her stomach.

'We are fine,' 

He handed her the blanket and he took the food. They headed to the big old oak tree that they always had sat under. He spread the blanket about and put the food down.

'You wanna walk?' he invited her to come with him down to the water. She could see he was struggling with the whole day. She always hated today. When she woke up that morning she was in his arms and he was kissing her and holding her. They both had cried but it was better, it felt better. Together they felt stronger than they had in a very long time.

He moved around her to walk on her left side, she wondered what the heck he was doing. He was getting upset and nervous all at the same time. They finally arrived down on the water edge. She looked around on the shore for some stones to throw in. It was calming, Daryl could always skim stones better than her. She stood up with her stone in her right hand and felt him tug her left again, she turned to look at him, then she looked down at him on his knees. He had a ring, it wasn't her original because she still had that with her wedding band but a eternity type ring. She wondered how he even knew what they were. 

Her heart was beating really fast like she could almost hear it waiting for him to say something. To say anything.

'Will you?' Daryl asked her, he slipped the ring on her finger, she didn't expect anything more from him word wise, his proposal  consisted on bringing her here and sliding the ring box into her hand rather than outright asking her. She had to put the words into his mouth that day too asking him if it was a engagement ring. She pulled him up to his feet wrapping her arms around his neck leaning in to kiss him again. 

'I love it, thank you,' she whispered into his mouth, he'd turned a sad day into a happy one. It had been a huge effort on his part to try create a happy memory for this day, he took a risk that she would be ok with it. 'I love you,' she whispered, she didn't know why she whispered there was no one about.

'I wanted to make today nice,' he told her, he helped her get the ring on then they kept walking. He stopped from time to time looking at the ground before finding what he was looking for, he passed it to her after he took it and washed it in the water. 'See, its Jasper, I've been collecting special rocks for her, makes me feel better that they are from here to remind her how happy were were that day,' his voice hitched as she turned it over in her hand. He had been doing it on his own now they could come on this day with their children in future and talk about Sophia and find special trinkets for her as the years went by. 


End file.
